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Ten Thousand Flowers in a Dream — Chapter 1.3. Nightmare


 Is it true that in the end, all love in this world inevitably leads to betrayal?

Everything around me was pitch black, and I stared wide-eyed into the darkness. Soon, I faintly heard shouts of "Fire!" and the urgent sound of gongs. Indeed, for a mistress already rumored to be half-mad, Wang Yan—so skilled in deception—could easily come up with a thousand seamless explanations for my death or disappearance.

I was relieved that he hadn't buried me somewhere or chopped me into pieces to destroy the evidence. Immersed in the darkness, I had forgotten what pain and fear even meant. I drifted in and out of consciousness, as if returning to a state of chaos, constantly dreaming of the days I spent with Wang Yan.

I had no idea how many days had passed before someone finally moved the heavy stone above. Moonlight, like silver, poured down into the well. I saw a flash of bright red and let out a soft sigh.

This time, Master Danshen appeared as a young man, handsome but with a somewhat frivolous smile. He descended like a red leaf to my side, rescuing me from the well and pulling out the silver dagger still lodged in my chest. Blood spurted out but quickly stopped. Xiaoxiang stood behind him, already scared out of her wits.

Weak and feeling aggrieved, I curled up in his arms for a long time before managing to speak.

"Master, I'm hungry…"

Danshen took me and Xiaoxiang away from the Lin residence and back to Mount Baiwu to recuperate. As I looked back, my eyes were dry. The Lin residence was my home, and Wang Yan was my husband. No matter what, I wouldn't let anyone take them from me!

After many years apart, Master Danshen was still the strangest person I had ever met. He was the best healer in the world, but also the best painter. However, while others painted landscapes, Danshen painted faces. Changing faces was as easy for him as changing clothes, and I never knew what he truly looked like. Sometimes he was a man, sometimes a woman, and although he had countless disciples, he was always accompanied by various animals. He used to say that human hearts couldn’t be trusted. I didn't understand it back then, but now I do—though it's too late.

When I told him I wanted revenge, he took my face away and replaced it with that of an ordinary woman, with a dull complexion and the marks of age and toil. When I saw my own face hanging on the wall of his collection room, alongside countless other faces, all quiet with their eyes closed as if in a deep sleep, I felt a chill run through me.

Six months later, I returned to the Lin residence as a cook. The woman Wang Yan called Xuanxuan had already moved in, claiming to be a distant cousin seeking refuge. She was seriously ill and lived in a secluded part of the estate, rarely seen and keeping a low profile. As for me, it was rumored that I had been burned to death in the southern study during a midnight fire, and Wang Yan, trying to save me, had suffered severe burns and was bedridden for two months. Though many people doubted this story, my sleepwalking condition was well known in the household, so it wasn’t surprising that an accident happened. Besides, Wang Yan was so kind and well-liked that even if there were suspicions, no one could prove anything.

Wang Yan appeared even paler and thinner than before, always in a hurry and filled with worry. He brought in doctor after doctor from all over the country. Every day, he personally prepared her medicine, with the doses growing larger and larger. I suspected that the woman was so ill she wouldn’t live much longer. I often wanted to see her, so I would hide in the bushes in her courtyard, but all I ever saw was her delicate silhouette reflected in the window and heard Wang Yan speaking to her in a voice a hundred times gentler than he had ever used with me, trying to cheer her up.

It wasn’t until a full moon night two months later that Wang Yan finally brought her out for a walk, and I saw the woman who had ruined my life. In the moonlight, she was as white as a jade sculpture, beautiful yet lifeless. I couldn’t describe how I felt, but I wondered if Wang Yan, who had lived almost his entire life for her, would follow her if she died.

So I asked Master Danshen to treat her. As the legendary ghost doctor who could bring the dead back to life, Danshen's words would surely be trusted. Avoiding Wang Yan’s notice, I devised a plan. Danshen disguised himself as a venerable old man with a white beard, gave her a prescription, and then told her that for the medicine to work, it required the heart of someone with Wang Yan's exact birthdate and the silver dagger. He added that he would only stay in this place for three days, so she had to get the heart within that time. Then he took Xiaoxiang, whom he had also taken as a disciple, and returned to Mount Baiwu.

Back then, Wang Yan told me such a heart-wrenching love story—a tale of a person gravely ill and another who never left their side, enduring hardship and humiliation, ultimately resorting to murder. If I were an outsider, I would have been moved to tears. But unfortunately, I was the one who was sacrificed.

I loved Wang Yan so much that if he had been the one who was sick, I would have remarried or even killed for him without hesitation. I tried hard to see things from Wang Yan’s perspective, telling myself not to hate him. But how could I not hate, with those vows of eternal love, that cold blade that tore apart my love and happiness, and the child in my womb? How could I not hate?

But I won't hurt you, Wang Yan. I love you too much to let go. I just want to see if this woman loves you as deeply as you love her—if she’s really worthy of your love.

On the third night, I stood outside the window, watching as the scene I had anticipated played out before my eyes. Voices speaking, sobbing, the sound of cups and bowls shattering, and the table being overturned.

Wang Yan asked why, and I stood there, silently mouthing the same question—why?

Just like before, when I used to lean on Wang Yan’s shoulder to watch shadow plays, I could see his shadow swaying on the window, while Xuanxuan, trembling, held a dagger. Finally, she raised it high and plunged it forcefully into Wang Yan’s chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Wang Yan. The ghost doctor told me that as long as I use a human heart as the medicinal lead, my illness will be cured. I'm sorry, I’m so sorry, but this is my last chance. I don’t want to die! I don’t want to!"

"I won’t let you die. Even if I must die, I won’t let you go alone. I promised to take care of you forever…" Wang Yan collapsed to the ground, and I could imagine him curled up in pain and humiliation.

"But do you know how painful it has been for me all these years, struggling alone on my sickbed, while you married that woman and spent every day together, basking in the sunlight and enjoying happiness? Every time I think of it, I can’t breathe from the hatred!"

"I did it all for you. I stayed with Yuemi, and I even killed her with my own hands! I even killed my own child!"

"I know, I know… But can you help me one last time, Wang Yan? I can’t keep living like a walking corpse, I just can’t…”

I heard Xuanxuan’s sobs, heard the sound of the silver dagger’s sharp blade cutting through flesh, piercing the breastbone, and heard Wang Yan’s voice, half-laughing, half-crying, saying, "Xuanxuan, you didn’t have to do this. If you had only asked, even if it meant tearing out my own heart and giving it to you, I would have done it without hesitation…”

The door was pushed open, and in the moonlight, a woman drenched in blood stumbled out. Her once beautiful face was now twisted and eerie, and in her hands, she held a fresh, still-beating heart.

"I can finally see the sun… I can finally see the sun…" Xuanxuan staggered forward, laughing hysterically, but her laughter sounded more like a wail.

I thought to myself, she’s truly gone mad…

The surroundings fell silent again, and blood flowed from the room, down to the corridor. I followed the trail of blood and slowly walked into the room. Wang Yan lay by the door, his eyes wide open, staring blankly upward, his body still twitching from the pain.

I crouched down, smiling as I looked at him. "Wang Yan, Wang Yan, it’s me. I’m Yuemi. I didn’t die, I’m back. I told you I would always be with you. But I’ve changed my face. You won’t mind, will you? If you do, I can ask Master Danshen to change it back, or perhaps give me a more beautiful one. It’s a shame about the baby, but it’s okay; we can have another one later, right?"

Wang Yan seemed as if he’d been struck by a heavy blow, finally snapping back to reality, looking at me in disbelief. I wasn’t sure if my expression was as crazed as Xuanxuan’s; I only knew that I caressed his face more tenderly, trying to soothe him.

"Wang Yan, do you finally understand? Do you know how much it hurts to be killed by the one you love most, to have your heart ripped out while still alive?"

I opened my collar, revealing three deep, narrow scars on my white chest—ugly and terrifying.

"Wang Yan, how could you do this to me? You love that woman, you treat her well, and that’s fine. But was it wrong for me to love you, to give everything to you? I’ve been wondering what I did wrong, what made it so easy for you to kill me without hesitation, without a second thought. Did you forget all the things you said to me? Or is it true that all love in this world ultimately ends in betrayal?"

Wang Yan’s lips trembled, and he stared at me, speechless, as the blood on his chest slowly stopped flowing. I picked up the silver dagger from the floor and tilted my head, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Do you know why the food I made for you tasted so good? It’s because of the silver dagger—this is a knife that can never kill. No matter if I chopped off the fish’s head or cut off the chicken’s head—even if I chopped it into pieces—every part would still be alive, still fresh. So tell me, how could the food not taste good?"

I covered my mouth and laughed, seeing my twisted face reflected in Wang Yan’s eyes, like a nightmarish demon.

"So, whether you stabbed my chest or she gouged out your heart, we won’t die, neither of us will die. And the wounds won’t heal either!"

"You see, you’re still mine, Wang Yan. No one can take you from me. I don’t need your heart anymore—it never belonged to me anyway. Now, all I want is for you to stay by my side forever..."

I held Wang Yan and began to wail, my tears and his blood slowly seeping into the wound in my chest.

[End of Story One]

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