Mei Lin certainly wasn’t about to make shoes for Murong Jing He. With his status, if he were to wear shoes she made to court or for any official duties, it would only invite ridicule. To prevent him from getting any ideas, she stopped doing needlework altogether and spent her days walking around the garden or wandering the hills, pondering what to do next.
From the beginning, she had never imagined that there could be any future between them. What was impossible before was even more impossible now, despite his increasingly obvious feelings.
He didn’t seem to intend to let her go. While she didn’t care about formalities, could she really be content just staying by his side, watching him marry other women?
Mei Lin felt lost. She had endured so much in the first half of her life—was she supposed to keep enduring now? As she looked at the misty clouds rolling over the mountains below, for the first time, she found herself unable to make a decision. His tenderness and sorrow left her deeply conflicted.
"Miss, someone from your past wishes to see you," came the voice of Ditang from behind her. Ever since she had woken up, Ditang had been by her side, perhaps because she had served Mei Lin in Jingbei before.
Mei Lin was taken aback. She couldn’t think of anyone who might be considered an acquaintance. Everyone had already seen through the lie told to Murong Jing He, and Xu Qin had been sent off to Nanyue as punishment. Given his personality, he wouldn’t be the one waiting below. So who could it be?
＊＊＊
Waiting in the flower hall was a middle-aged woman. She had clearly made an effort with her appearance—her eyebrows and eyes were delicately painted, her hair neatly combed, and her clothes, though not brand new, were in good condition, showing that they hadn’t been worn much.
The woman kept alternating between sitting and standing, occasionally adjusting her dress or hair, looking nervous and uneasy.
Mei Lin stood outside the hall, watching her through the window lattice. She tried to remain calm, but before long, her heart began to race, until it pounded like thunder, and her palms grew clammy with cold sweat.
Sensing someone’s gaze, the woman looked toward the window. Mei Lin’s heart skipped a beat, and she quickly moved toward the door. By the time she entered the room, she had already composed herself, wearing a calm and faint smile. However, this calm didn’t last long.
"My poor child... my poor child..." As soon as the woman saw her, she wiped her eyes with her hand and rushed forward, crying.
Mei Lin froze, feeling the woman’s tears and snot soaking into her clothes, catching a whiff of cheap perfume. A throbbing pain started at her temples, and all the calm she had worked so hard to maintain crumbled away. She turned her head, hoping to find Ditang or someone else to ask what was going on, but there was no one behind her.
What was this situation?
Apparently, feeling that Mei Lin wasn’t reacting, the woman seemed to realize that crying alone was pointless. Slowly, she stopped, though she continued to dab at her eyes with a handkerchief and sniffle occasionally.
"May I ask who you are?" Ignoring the damp patch on her chest, Mei Lin helped the woman sit down in a chair and politely inquired. Although she had a hunch, she wasn’t sure.
"I’m Chun Yanzi, your..." The woman wiped her eyes with the handkerchief in an exaggerated manner, then looked up at Mei Lin. She was about to say something, but suddenly stopped, her hand falling limp as she stared at Mei Lin in a daze. Then, she stood up cautiously, lifting Mei Lin’s hair on the left side and gently touching the small red mole on her temple.
"My little Hua’er... my child..." Her trembling hands touched Mei Lin’s brows, eyes, nose, and lips before she suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace, her small body shaking uncontrollably.
"Chun Hua... Chun Hua..."
Mei Lin’s mind drifted, recalling a voice from long, long ago that called her by that name. It seemed that her fondness for spring flowers, particularly those in Jingbei, stemmed from this memory.
Hesitantly, she lifted her arms and hugged Chun Yanzi’s waist, her eyes dry and stinging.
＊＊＊
"Back in the day, your mother was once the most sought-after courtesan in the Spring Garden. All those noble gentlemen—there wasn’t a single one who didn’t bow to your mother’s charm," Chun Yanzi boasted, cracking sunflower seeds as she relived her glory days to her daughter.
Mei Lin watched her with a gentle smile, listening patiently, without showing any impatience or distaste.
"But after I had you, life became harder each day," Chun Yanzi sighed, a touch of weariness finally appearing on her face. "It’s not that I couldn’t raise you, but in a place like that, you’d only grow up to be like me. So when I heard that some noble wanted to take children in and train them, I thought it couldn’t be worse than the brothel. It was a chance at life."
Mei Lin nodded, still smiling.
"Don’t blame me," Chun Yanzi said.
"I don’t," Mei Lin replied, nodding again.
"You really don’t blame me?" Chun Yanzi straightened up, looking at her daughter with doubt.
"No," Mei Lin shook her head, still smiling, her eyes showing warmth and affection for her mother.
Chun Yanzi breathed a sigh of relief and then perked up again, smiling brightly. "You see, if you had stayed with me, how could you have met such a fine husband?"
Mei Lin was about to nod in agreement when something didn’t seem right. "What husband?" she asked, frowning.
Chun Yanzi gave her a sly look and tapped her on the forehead. "What’s there to be shy about with your own mother? If your husband hadn’t found me, we might never have met in this lifetime." She paused, her eyes filled with satisfaction as she praised, "He’s such a handsome and kind man, my child. You’re truly blessed to have him."
"You’ve met him?" Mei Lin was surprised. It was unexpected that Murong Jing He would meet her mother, but then she grew somber. "I’m afraid things won’t work out between us."
Chun Yanzi was taken aback, clearly confused. "Why not?"
"He... he’s not just any man," Mei Lin said softly, assuming her mother didn’t know that he was the emperor, so she didn’t mention it.
"Not just any man..." Chun Yanzi repeated, puzzled, before suddenly jumping up from her chair. She placed one hand on her hip and jabbed Mei Lin’s forehead with the other. "Are you stupid? How could I have such a foolish daughter? What do you mean he’s not just any man? Isn’t it enough that he likes you and treats you well? Do you think ordinary men go to such lengths to find a girl’s mother for no reason? Just treat him like an ordinary man. Do you think those ordinary men are all good and easy? They’re clueless—no knowledge, no vision—and you think they won’t take multiple wives or scorn your background or abandon you when they’re done? You silly girl, you’re going to drive your mother to the grave..."
Mei Lin was pushed back with each poke, but she didn’t get angry. Instead, she burst out laughing and suddenly threw her arms around the woman’s waist, burying her face in her mother’s embrace, her eyes growing misty.
"Mother." This must be what it feels like to have a mother, she thought. To be scolded and loved, to be cared for with all one’s heart.
Chun Yanzi abruptly fell silent, her hands trembling as she placed them on her daughter’s head.
It was the first time since they met that she had called her mother.
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