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Big Qiao, Little Qiao — Chapter 1.2


Qiao Jianbin’s mental state deteriorated. When he drank, he’d smash things and even hurt himself, requiring constant supervision. Although he kept demanding to return to work, it was clear to everyone that he was already a broken man. Wang Yazhen’s parents were traditional Chinese medicine practitioners, and she had learned a bit of their craft. She rented a storefront and opened a small clinic in a two-story building. She saw patients downstairs, while the family lived upstairs, allowing her to keep an eye on Qiao Jianbin at all times. Qiao Lin grew up in that house, while Xu Yan always lived with her grandmother. In Xu Yan’s mind, Qiao Lin and their parents were a complete family, while she was the extra. Whenever Qiao Jianbin saw her, there was always a look of sorrow in his eyes. She was the price he paid with his job, but it wasn't just his job—she had ruined everything for him. Wang Yazhen also didn’t look kindly upon her, harboring a lot of resentment. Besides supporting the family, she had to endure constant criticism from the grandmother, who believed that if Wang Yazhen hadn't had heart disease, she would have had a successful abortion and none of this would have happened. Every time the grandmother visited, she would quarrel with Wang Yazhen, and after she left, Wang Yazhen would quarrel with Qiao Jianbin. The whole family was consumed by mutual resentment. No one blamed Qiao Lin; she was the legitimate child and was always the one trying to mediate. Over the years, she had spent most of her time breaking up fights and comforting others. She praised Xu Yan in front of their parents for being smart and sensible, and told Xu Yan that their parents cared about her. She always hoped Xu Yan would move back home. But in middle school, Xu Yan had a huge argument with Qiao Jianbin, and after that, she never set foot in the house again.

Xu Yan would ride her Phoenix-brand bicycle past the stone-paved road in front of the clinic. Qiao Lin would lean out of the second-floor window and wave at her. "Pedal faster, or you’ll be late!" Qiao Lin would smile and say. When Xu Yan was in middle school, and Qiao Lin was in high school, Qiao Lin would always wait until she saw Xu Yan before heading off. Sometimes, she would wait at the door to hand her a freshly washed apple.

Xu Yan’s phone rang. It was Shen Haoming, who was having dinner with some friends and asked her to join them later. Xu Yan hung up the phone. The hot pot in front of them was boiling, and the lamb was churning in the red broth, splashing oil onto Qiao Lin’s hand. But she didn’t seem to notice, focusing instead on arranging the mushrooms on her plate, carefully moving them from one side to the other, placing them one by one so they wouldn’t overlap. Then she put down her chopsticks, smiled emptily, and asked, "Was that your boyfriend?" Xu Yan nodded. Qiao Lin said, "You never told me about him. You never tell me anything; you’ve been like that since we were kids. What does he do?" Xu Yan replied, "He’s an office worker." Qiao Lin asked, "Is he good to you?" Xu Yan said, "He’s okay. Are you going to eat or not?" Qiao Lin said, "It must feel good to have someone you care about, right?"

Outside the restaurant was a bustling mall. A group of high school girls were gathered around an ice cream stand. Xu Yan asked, "Do you want some?" Qiao Lin touched her belly as if seeking an opinion. She leaned over the counter, examining each ice cream tub. "Is raspberry a fruit?" she asked. "Do you think I should get raspberry or nut flavor?" "Get both," Xu Yan said. "I don’t want a paper cup; I want a cone," Qiao Lin told the girl behind the counter with a smile.

It was a morning in September, on Xu Yan’s first day of high school. Qiao Lin stood under an umbrella at the school gate. When she saw Xu Yan, she walked over with a smile. "Why didn’t you put on your raincoat hood? Your hair’s all wet." She reached out and brushed Xu Yan’s bangs aside. "It’s great that we’re in the same school now. We can see each other every day. Don’t leave after school; I’ll take you to get some taro-flavored ice cream."

As they passed a children’s clothing store, Qiao Lin slowed down. Xu Yan followed her gaze and saw a white dress hanging in the brightly lit window. The dress was made of shimmering taffeta, adorned with embroidered blue and pink flowers on the bodice, with pearls embedded, and the hem was delicately ruffled. Qiao Lin pressed her face against the glass and said, "Little girls' clothes are so pretty." Xu Yan asked, "Do you hope it’s a boy or a girl?" "A boy, I guess," Qiao Lin said. "If it’s a boy, maybe Lin Tao's family might change their mind." Xu Yan asked, "Has he contacted you again?" Qiao Lin shook her head.

The car emerged from the underground parking lot. The commercial street was brightly lit, with red Christmas stockings and colorful gift boxes hanging in the windows. The trees along the street were wrapped with strings of icy blue lights. A male celebrity smiled from an advertisement lightbox, flashing his bright white teeth. Qiao Lin pointed at him and asked, "Do you think he looks like Yu Yiming?" Xu Yan asked, "Did you contact him this time?" Qiao Lin said, "I don’t have his phone number anymore." Xu Yan was silent for a moment, then said, "We’re almost there. I booked you a hotel near my place." Qiao Lin nodded, clutching the seatbelt over her belly.

Yu Yiming walked over and sat across from her and Qiao Lin. His shirt, worn open over a T-shirt, carried the scent of rain. The air was damp, and it was getting dark outside. Yu Yiming wiped his face and smiled at them. He had a charming dimple on his chin.

When they reached the hotel entrance, Qiao Lin suddenly refused to get out of the car. She curled up carefully, as if afraid to dirty anything in the car. Xu Yan asked, "What’s wrong?" In a small voice, Qiao Lin said, "Don’t make me sleep alone in the hotel, okay? I want to sleep with you... Please?" She lifted her reddened eyes and pleaded, "Please, okay?"

The car returned to the main road. Qiao Lin remained curled up, occasionally turning to look at Xu Yan. She asked quietly, "Can the hotel room still be canceled? Will they charge a penalty?" Xu Yan said, "I just thought staying at a hotel would be comfortable. They serve breakfast in the morning." Qiao Lin replied, "I know, I know. I’m sorry."

The car windows fogged up, and Qiao Lin wiped them with her hand, staring at the neon lights outside and softly reading the words on the billboards. The car ascended an overpass, and the surroundings grew dark. She leaned back in her seat, patted her belly, and said, "Little one, how about visiting Aunt Xu Yan in Beijing in the future?" Xu Yan didn’t respond; she kept her eyes on the road ahead. The windshield was also fogging up, and the short stretch of road illuminated by the headlights was pale and dim.

Qiao Lin stared at Yu Yiming and said, "Your haircut is really ugly." Yu Yiming replied, "I know you cut hair well, but I couldn’t go two months without a haircut after going back." Qiao Lin put her arm around Xu Yan and said, "Come on, let me introduce you. This is my sister, my real sister." Yu Yiming said to Qiao Lin, "Let’s go. It’s time to get back for evening study." Qiao Lin said, "You go ahead. I want to sit with my sister for a while. I haven’t seen her in a long time." Yu Yiming said, "I haven’t seen you in a long time either. You said you’d visit me in Jinan, but you never did." Qiao Lin smiled, "Maybe next summer vacation. I’ll go with my sister." Yu Yiming left. Xu Yan said, "Can you stop telling people I’m your sister? Does everyone really need to know our family broke the one-child policy?" Qiao Lin lowered her eyes and said, "I understand." Xu Yan asked, "Are you two dating?" Qiao Lin said, "No." Xu Yan said, "Don’t lie to me." Qiao Lin replied, "Really, we’re not. He came to Tai’an to finish school. After the college entrance exams, he’ll be gone." Xu Yan said, "You could leave too."

Qiao Lin smiled faintly and said nothing.  

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