The next day, they left the house before ten. On most weekends, Xu Yan and Shen Haoming would lounge in bed until eleven, then go out for brunch. But on this day, Xu Yan woke up at dawn. Insomnia seemed contagious—she hadn’t seen Qiao Lin close her eyes all night. But Qiao Lin insisted she had slept a bit and even had a dream where she gave birth to a "jar baby." "Jar baby?" Xu Yan frowned. "Yes," Qiao Lin said, "like those kids in a circus, kept in a jar, with shrunken limbs and a big head." She shuddered, jumped out of bed, and said, "I’m going to make breakfast."
The kitchen was filled with the smell of scallion oil. Qiao Lin was frying scallion pancakes in a pan—this was the most familiar food from their childhood, something Xu Yan hadn’t eaten since moving to Beijing. If it weren’t for that smell, she would have forgotten this food even existed.
Xu Yan wanted to take Qiao Lin to Jingshan Park first; there was a section of the red wall nearby that she particularly liked. The streets were quiet, and they listened to songs on the radio as they drove. Qiao Lin pursed her lips, looking sad. "Don’t think about it," Xu Yan said, "it was just a dream." Qiao Lin nodded, "I know, I know. It’s nothing. I’m just waiting for a call from Lawyer Wang—he said he’d call me today." Xu Yan felt like Qiao Lin was transferring some kind of pressure onto her, which made her feel uneasy.
The car jolted violently, snapping Xu Yan back to attention. She slammed on the brakes, but it was too late—they had already hit the car in front of them. Qiao Lin arched her body, protecting her belly. The woman in the other car berated Xu Yan and then called the traffic police. When the police arrived, Xu Yan searched the car thoroughly but couldn’t find the registration documents, so she had to call Shen Haoming. A few minutes later, Shen Haoming called back, saying he found the documents at home—the driver had taken them out when the car was being repaired and forgot to put them back. "I’ll bring them to you," Shen Haoming said. "Where are you?" Xu Yan paused for a few seconds before giving him her location.
When she got back into the car, Qiao Lin’s head was resting against the seat, her hands still on her belly. "My boyfriend is on his way," Xu Yan said. "I told him you’re my cousin, so don’t mention anything about our parents." Qiao Lin nodded, "I know, I know." Xu Yan wanted to say a few more things, but seeing Qiao Lin had closed her eyes, she stayed quiet.
When Shen Haoming arrived, he handled the situation and then got into the driver’s seat. He turned to Qiao Lin with a smile and said, "Cousin, I’m a really safe driver. You can rest easy and take a nap."
It was already past eleven, so Shen Haoming suggested they have lunch first. He drove them to a nearby shopping center. On the third floor was a Cantonese restaurant where Yu Lan often hosted dim sum gatherings. Shen Haoming handed the menu to Qiao Lin, asking her to pick something she liked. Qiao Lin glanced at it, then handed it to Xu Yan. As Xu Yan looked down at the menu, she couldn’t shake the feeling that Qiao Lin was watching her. A basket of shrimp dumplings cost over a hundred yuan—clearly not something a white-collar worker could easily afford. Qiao Lin had probably seen through her long ago—borrowed car, rented apartment, everything was full of flaws. When Xu Yan looked up, Qiao Lin was smiling, "I’m fine with anything, as long as it’s a bit spicy."
"I knew Xu Yan would get into an accident," Shen Haoming said, "You’re not really driving until you’ve had two or three crashes. But with you in the car, we can’t take any chances. I told her I’d drive you two today…" Qiao Lin smiled faintly, "You’ve already done so much for us." Shen Haoming said, "She used to trouble you all the time, didn’t she? She said you took great care of her in high school—buying her raincoats, taking her to get IV drips…" Qiao Lin responded indifferently, "That was nothing." Shen Haoming said, "Sometimes cousins are closer than siblings. I’m closer to my cousin than to my brother…" Qiao Lin asked, "You have a brother?" Shen Haoming said, "Yeah, a crybaby. Drives me crazy." Qiao Lin asked, "How could you have a second child?" Shen Haoming laughed, "You sound just like Xu Yan when she asked that. My parents got Canadian citizenship." Qiao Lin murmured, "Oh, foreigners…" Shen Haoming said, "We’ll have at least three kids, so your child will have plenty of playmates." Qiao Lin nodded, "That sounds good." Xu Yan focused on the steamed grouper that had just arrived. "Three kids?" She thought she could almost hear Qiao Lin laughing inside.
Qiao Lin’s phone rang. Xu Yan was worried she might answer it in front of Shen Haoming, but Qiao Lin got up and left the table. Xu Yan said to Shen Haoming, "You don’t need to stay with us this afternoon. I’ll just take her around Houhai." Shen Haoming replied, "I have dinner with Ren Guodong later—remember, I missed his daughter’s hundred-day celebration last time? It’s fine; I’ll head out at five."
Qiao Lin returned, looking grim, staring blankly at the plate in front of her. She didn’t eat, and Xu Yan didn’t push her. It wasn’t until Shen Haoming said, "Shall we go?" that she stood up and walked out, her legs moving mechanically. Shen Haoming called after her, handing her the down jacket she’d left on the back of the chair.
Qiao Lin followed them, clutching her down jacket. The lining was exposed, with a hole from which tufts of cotton were poking out. Xu Yan almost suspected she did it on purpose, wanting them to buy her a new coat. "Should I get something for Ren Guodong’s daughter?" Shen Haoming asked. "What should I buy?" They walked around the mall for a while before Shen Haoming suddenly stopped and pointed at a window display. "Let’s get this." A tiny white chiffon dress, surrounded by clouds, was exactly like the one Xu Yan and Qiao Lin had seen before. It was likely a chain store, with identical window displays. "Do you know if your baby is a boy or a girl?" Shen Haoming asked Qiao Lin. She shook her head. "No worries," he said, turning to enter the store.
Qiao Lin immediately told Xu Yan that Lawyer Wang said he couldn't take on her case. She bit her lip and added, "He went to a meeting; I'll call him later to plead with him again." Xu Yan said, "Don’t do that, Qiao Lin. You weren’t like this before." Tears welled up in Qiao Lin’s eyes as she said, "I’m so useless, I can’t get anything done." Just then, Shen Haoming came out of the store, holding a shopping bag. He handed one of the bags to Qiao Lin, saying, "I bought a gift box—it has everything inside, all in white, suitable for both boys and girls." Qiao Lin turned her head away, wiping the tears from her face. Shen Haoming awkwardly held the bag. After a moment, Qiao Lin turned back, forcing a smile and said, "Thank you, really, thank you."
By the time they arrived at Houhai, the sky had turned gloomy. A few light flakes of snow were drifting in the cold air. The river was covered with thick, grayish-green ice. "Getting out for a walk must have lifted your spirits a bit, right?" Shen Haoming asked. Qiao Lin nodded, "Thank you." Xu Yan turned her gaze toward the river. In the middle of the frozen water, there was a duck-shaped boat trapped in the ice, tilted to one side, with the duck’s head pointing skyward.
Qiao Lin said, "We have a river back home too, called the Nai River. It’s even wider than this one." Shen Haoming said, "I thought it was all mountains where you’re from. I even told Xu Yan we should climb Mount Tai sometime." Qiao Lin said, "Once, when we were little, Xu Yan and I saw a kid flying a kite fall into the river and drown. His mother was crying on the shore, surrounded by people." Xu Yan said, "I don’t remember that." Qiao Lin replied, "You stood there, and no matter how hard I tried to pull you away, you wouldn’t budge. You waited until everyone had left, then used a bamboo pole to retrieve the kid’s kite and took it home." Shen Haoming asked, "Was that kid a friend of hers? Did she want the kite as a memento?" Qiao Lin smiled faintly, "She just wanted the kite." Xu Yan stared at Qiao Lin’s face. Qiao Lin didn’t look back, as if she were still lost in the memory. She continued, "Later, the boy’s mother cried by the river every day, clinging to passersby, begging them to save her son. Eventually, they cut down the trees by the riverbank and built a row of houses there." After a brief silence, Qiao Lin said to Shen Haoming, "Xu Yan never says what she wants." Shen Haoming nodded, "Yes, she keeps everything to herself." Qiao Lin said, "It’s okay, as long as you’re there, silently supporting her."
Xu Yan gazed at the lake in front of her. The afternoon sun glinted off the water, creating a shimmering golden light. Yu Yiming had put down the oars, letting their boat drift on the water. Suddenly, Qiao Lin said, "I’ve seen a water monster before. A kid flying a kite fell into the river, and a white mist rose from the water. The mist drifted toward us, and I was so scared I grabbed Xu Yan’s hand and ran. But she seemed frozen, standing there without moving. So I didn’t run either; I held onto her arm, thinking that if the water monster came, it would take us both away." Qiao Lin leaned over the lake, splashing the water with her hand and said, "Yu Yiming, when are you going to teach us how to swim?"
The snow was falling harder now, making the river look even grayer. The frozen duck boat shrank in the distance until it disappeared around a bend. They decided to take a break at a nearby café. When they pushed open the door, the place was packed with people. "Looks like everyone in Houhai has taken shelter here," Shen Haoming said. Xu Yan paid for their drinks and stood in line waiting. The boy making the coffee seemed new—he accidentally spilled the hot milk. Shen Haoming poked Xu Yan from behind, "Your cousin left her phone in the car. I’ll go with her to get it." Xu Yan said, "Wait until we get our coffee, then we’ll go together." "No worries, it’s close," Shen Haoming said, turning to leave.
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