Less than a month after returning from Beijing, Qiao Lin gave birth to a daughter. The baby was born more than a month early, but she was healthy. Qiao Lin sent over a few photos—such a tiny bundle, but with long arms and legs. Shen Haoming glanced at the pictures and said, "She looks a bit like you."
That month, Xu Yan was very busy. The TV station was preparing a new show that would premiere during the New Year. Every day she recorded for ten hours straight, repeating the same lines over and over. During that time, she visited Shen Haoming’s home once. Shen Jinsong wasn’t there; only Yu Lan and a few other ladies were playing mahjong. Xu Yan took over for a few rounds and lost six thousand yuan. As she was leaving, Yu Lan said, "Let’s play again during the New Year." Xu Yan thought, This could be a way to keep Yu Lan happy, so she persuaded Shen Haoming to stay in Beijing for the New Year instead of going to Koh Samui, hoping she might also run into Uncle Gao at one of the family dinners.
Xu Yan received a call in the evening, just three days before the New Year. That afternoon, she and Shen Haoming had gone out to buy a bunch of fireworks. It had started to drizzle on the way back, and they heard that it would turn to snow later that night, with the temperature dropping by ten degrees. The previous days in Beijing had been unusually warm, giving the illusion that spring had arrived.
Her phone rang, displaying an unfamiliar number. At the time, she was standing in the conservatory of Shen Haoming’s house, instructing the housekeeper to bring the orchids inside. She had also called Shen Haocen to help, thinking it would be good for him to do some physical work—at least it would keep him from overthinking. He pouted and said, "These flowers are so ugly." Xu Yan put her hands on her hips and asked, "What flowers do you think are beautiful?" "Fake flowers," he replied. She told Shen Haocen to move the pot in front of him to the living room, then answered the phone.
It was her mother, crying loudly on the other end, telling her that Qiao Lin had committed suicide—she had gone out alone at night and jumped into the river on the edge of town. "Are they still trying to save her? Are they still trying to save her?" Xu Yan asked repeatedly. Her mother said it had happened the day before; Qiao Lin was already gone. Xu Yan hung up the phone.
The world around her fell silent. She rubbed the dirt off her hands, picked up a pot of orchids, and walked out.
The air was damp as if it had already started snowing. There was a chilly sensation, like tiny claws gripping her scalp. She reached out, trying to catch a snowflake in the air. With a crash, the flowerpot fell to the ground. The porcelain shards spun across the floor. A buzzing sound filled her ears.
Shen Haocen came over and looked at the broken pot at her feet. "Ha! Fake flowers wouldn’t shatter like that," he said with a hint of satisfaction. "Go away," she snapped at him, then crouched down to pick the orchids out of the shattered porcelain. Shen Haocen, frightened, stood still. Xu Yan carefully shook the dirt off the orchids, then carried them away.
She placed the flowers on the seat beside her and drove out of the gated community. The wind was howling outside, and snowflakes, like determined moths, smashed against the windshield. She gripped the steering wheel tightly, her whole body trembling. Tears welled up in her eyes as she frowned, staring at the road ahead. Why did Qiao Lin do this? She felt furious—on her last night in Beijing, hadn’t Qiao Lin promised to wait for her to come up with a solution? Why couldn’t she just wait a little longer?
The car swerved off the highway, narrowly missing a truck, and careened around a few corners before screeching to a halt in an empty parking lot. She slammed her fists against the steering wheel, the horn blaring sharply. Didn’t she say she’d figure something out? Why didn’t Qiao Lin believe her? Xu Yan leaned back against the seat and began to sob uncontrollably.
The phone on the seat beside her rang several times—it was Shen Haoming. She sat in the darkness, waiting for the screen to finally go dark before she whispered, "My sister is dead."
She didn’t return to attend the memorial service.
On New Year’s Eve, a light snow was falling. She stood at the gate of the courtyard, watching as Shen Haoming lit the fireworks. She tilted her head back, watching the sparks burst and fall. The sky darkened again. A few snowflakes landed on her face.
She called home. Her mother was still crying, repeating, "Why was Qiao Lin so heartless to leave us?" She could hear the baby crying on the other end, along with her father’s curses and the sound of pots and dishes clattering to the floor. Her mother asked, "When are you coming back?" This seemed to be the first time her mother had expressed a need for Xu Yan. "In a few days," she replied. "Don’t ever come back!" her father shouted, and the call ended.
Xu Yan never returned to Tai’an. A smoldering anger inside her refused to fade. She felt that Qiao Lin didn’t understand her, didn’t trust her, and didn’t even want her to be happy. She believed Qiao Lin did this to make her feel guilty forever. For a long time, that anger effectively suppressed her grief, allowing her to sleep normally.
One day in April, she went to Shen Haoming’s house for dinner. That day, it was just the family, eating oysters flown in from Paris and lobsters from New Zealand. Yu Lan complained that the oysters weren’t as fresh as the last time. "Aren’t you going to Paris next month?" Shen Jinsong asked, switching channels with the remote. The screen showed a female host in a white suit. She glanced at the script in her hand, then looked up and began:
"In 1988, at a hospital in Tai’an, Wang Yazhen, suffering from rheumatic heart disease, gave birth to her second daughter. She felt no joy of motherhood, only panic. Beside her, the tiny baby, weighing just three pounds and eight ounces, opened her eyes and curiously took in the world. Did she know in that moment that what awaited her in this world was not warmth and blessings, but harsh punishment? Outside the operating room, Qiao Jianbin sat on a bench, sleepless through the night. After months of shuttling between the Family Planning Commission and the hospital, he was exhausted. But the misfortunes of their family had only just begun…"
Xu Yan stared at the screen, clutching the collar of her sweater, feeling like she was about to suffocate.
"This 'Focus Moment' is sometimes worth watching," Shen Jinsong said.
"What's there to watch? It’s always about stubborn holdouts or illegal births," Yu Lan replied.
"Mom, Mom," Shen Haocen asked, "does having me count as an illegal birth?"
Yu Lan smiled and said, "Sweetheart, the Canadian government even rewarded me for having you."
"…The reporter arrived at Qiao Jianbin's home. After Qiao Jianbin was fired, the family relied on this clinic to make a living. The sign for 'Peace Clinic' still hangs at the entrance, but it hasn't seen a patient in years. The diagnostic bed on the first floor is piled with various health supplements, some of which have long passed their expiration dates. Wang Yazhen keeps them for the family to use. She picked up a bottle and showed it to the reporter: 'This one helps with sleep. My older daughter has trouble sleeping, so I make her take it…' For over twenty years, Qiao Jianbin and Wang Yazhen have sought help through various channels, hoping the authorities would reinstate Qiao Jianbin's job…"
The camera panned over their home, capturing cobwebs in the corners, a greasy tablecloth, and a toilet stained with yellow spots, finally settling on a photo on the wall. It was a family portrait, possibly the only one. Xu Yan was around four or five years old, standing on the far right, with Qiao Lin’s hand resting on her shoulder.
Xu Yan felt like everyone’s eyes were suddenly on her. She was on the verge of jumping out of her seat and rushing out of the room.
The host then narrated the hardships the Qiao family had endured over the years, mentioning the younger daughter, who, due to premature birth and medication, was left infertile. However, her current whereabouts were not disclosed. There was also no mention of Qiao Lin’s daughter. The host merely stated that Qiao Lin had spent years fighting for the family’s cause, which led to her failed relationships and job loss. Two months ago, one night, she put her child to sleep as usual, then left the house, walked to the riverbank, and jumped in.
The scene switched back to the studio. The female host said, "Just a day before her suicide, Qiao Lin sent a message to the producer of this show. In it, she wrote: 'Mr. Chen, I beg you to do a segment on our situation. This isn’t just our family's problem—many families have faced similar hardships. I believe that once the show airs, it will spark a strong reaction. If you need any more materials, feel free to contact me. Wishing you an early Happy New Year!'” The host lowered her eyes, pausing for a few seconds, then added, "We dedicate this belated episode to Qiao Lin, hoping she finds peace. We also hope that compassionate lawyers will reach out to the Qiao family to help them overcome their difficulties. Thank you for watching, and see you next time…"
Shen Haoming angrily exclaimed, "This is just too messed up." Yu Lan glanced at him and said, "What do you want to do? This kind of case isn’t even your responsibility." Shen Haoming replied, "I can ask some of my classmates; maybe someone will take it on." Shen Jinsong said, "No need to go to court. For something like this, finding the right person means it can be settled with just a word." Yu Lan added, "Is there a donation number? Just send them some money directly."
0 Comments