"Sh-Shiina...san!! I-I like you! Please go out with me!"
I’ve heard this line so many times, seen this scene unfold countless times.
Honestly, I’m tired of hearing it. Tired of seeing it.
The boy standing in front of me, if I remember correctly, his name is Itsuki Irie.
He’s bullied in class, and I think Kotori [referring to herself] has helped him out in a few situations.
Ah, I see. So he thought that just because I was nice to him, he might have a chance and decided to confess.
Thinking that, I looked at Irie’s face again and sighed.
He looks so timid and weak, a total “outcast” type. It’s no wonder he’s bullied.
Honestly, just looking at him makes me frustrated. Oh well, I guess I can talk to him with my true self this time.
Even if he spreads rumors, no one will believe him anyway.
"Seriously? You like Kotori? Just because I was a little nice to you, you thought you had a chance? Disgusting."
So I told him. I showed him my true feelings.
Normally, Kotori acts all cute and sweet—a total fake.
I know I have a baby face and that I’m cute, and I love to take care of my appearance—my hair, my skin, my style.
But the real Kotori is strong-willed and has a sharp tongue.
I know that when I show my true self, people tend to dislike me, so I rarely reveal this side of me.
"...Huh?"
As expected, he looked shocked. He couldn’t believe it.
"...Shiina...Kotori?"
Irie murmured as if he needed to confirm who I was.
Come on, you can’t believe it so much that you have to check my name?
He acted like someone had come back from the dead.
"...Are you okay in the head?"
I couldn’t help but blurt that out.
"Huh? What is this?"
Wait, what’s going on? He’s looking at his own uniform all panicked.
Maybe he really should go to the hospital.
"Shiina-san, club practice is starting!"
Just as I was about to suggest taking him to the hospital, one of my upperclassmen called out to me.
"Okay!! Kotori is coming right now!"
Immediately, I put on my fake sweet voice and ran toward my senior with a big smile.
"Wait!"
Irie called out, stopping me in my tracks.
"Why...why were you kind to me?"
"No reason. Kotori just doesn’t like that kind of thing. It’s not like I hated you or anything. It’s only natural to help someone in trouble. But honestly, you’re way too timid. That’s why you get bullied. You should stand up straighter."
I spat out the words as if I were throwing them at him, then waved my hand dismissively.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting!"
"It’s fine, it’s fine. So, what was that? Kotori-chan got confessed to? Did you turn him down?"
"Geez, don’t tease me! Kotori’s not really good with that kind of thing."
I said with my sweet, fake smile as I laughed and headed back to the clubroom with one of the other girls.
* * *
The next morning, when I entered the classroom, I could feel the buzz in the air.
"Oh, it’s Shiina-san!"
Risa, the most popular girl in class, called out to me the moment I stepped inside.
I hate her. Actually, she hates me too.
Kotori was popular with the boys, but the girls despised me. I only had two female friends.
"What’s up, Risa-chan? Did you need something from Kotori?"
I answered with a full, fake smile.
Ugh, dealing with this so early in the morning is exhausting. Just get to the point.
"What’s this, hmm?"
Risa smirked as she held up her phone, showing me the screen.
A video of yesterday—of Irie’s confession—was playing on the phone.
"...What?"
No way. Was I recorded?
In the video, my true self—the part of me I’ve hidden for two and a half years—was on display.
I could feel the blood drain from my face. My body trembled. I couldn’t speak. My breathing became erratic.
I knew my face had gone completely pale.
They know. They know. They know. They know. They know.
"See? Risa was right, huh? Shiina-san’s such a fake."
As Risa continued talking happily, Irie entered the room.
“Oh, it’s Irie-kun! Poor you! You worked up the courage to confess and got treated so horribly. Are you okay? She really has a terrible personality, doesn’t she?”
“I know, I’m so shocked too! I liked Kotori-chan, but I bet she’s been talking badly about us behind our backs too, huh?”
Irie looked confused, but I didn’t care about that.
“Wow, that’s low.”
“No way.”
“Such a bad personality.”
Critical gazes and malicious words rained down on Kotori.
The bell rang, and I took my seat for class. During the lesson, Risa and her group were gleefully messing with their phones, occasionally glancing at me and giggling. It was clear they were plotting something.
At least Miku will stand by me. Even if the entire class abandons me, she won’t.
Ichijo Miku was my only real friend in this school. When she first started here, she was bullied, and I didn’t like it, so I helped her. That’s how we became friends. We share a lot of interests and spend our days off hanging out. It’s been two years since then.
Miku knows how painful it is to be bullied. She’ll surely be on my side.
I told myself it would be fine and stood up, clutching my lunch, and went over to Miku.
My hands were trembling with nerves. My heart was pounding loudly.
“Hey, how about we eat lunch together?”
I did my best to smile like I always do, but I could hear my own voice shaking.
It’s okay. It’s okay. Miku won’t let me down. I have to trust her, my only friend.
“...Sorry, Shiina-san. There’s no place for you here anymore. Why don’t you eat with the boys? You’re popular, aren’t you?”
“...!”
Miku spat the words at me with a mocking smile.
Her eyes clearly said, “Don’t drag me into this.”
No way… Miku too? After everything we’ve been through?
I couldn’t speak. My knees were shaking uncontrollably. My mind went blank.
“Hahaha! That’s hilarious! You’ve got great taste!”
“Hey, boys! Why don’t you let lonely little Shiina-chan join your group?”
“Ugh, not really into fake girls...”
Risa laughed loudly, and the classroom filled with malicious laughter that followed her lead.
“...!!”
I dropped my lunch and ran out of the classroom.
“Ugh... ugh... ugh…”
Wiping away the tears streaming down my face, I headed for the rooftop.
I knew the door to the rooftop was old and could be forced open if needed.
And no one would come up there. I just wanted to be alone.
I slammed the door open and curled up in the corner, hugging my knees.
I lowered my face, closed my eyes, and waited for the tears to stop.
Oh, wait… I left my lunchbox behind. Well, whatever.
Maybe if I fall asleep here, I’ll wake up and it’ll all be just a bad dream.
As I was lost in these thoughts, I heard the sound of the door opening.
Who is it? Ugh, I don’t care anymore. Teacher, student, whoever—just do what you want.
“...I brought your lunch.”
That voice... was it Irie? He sounded out of breath. Whatever, just leave me alone.
He’s probably just being nice to take advantage of the situation because I’m weak.
I could see right through his intentions.
I just wanted him to leave, so I ignored what he said.
But his footsteps came closer.
Annoying. Annoying. So annoying.
“...I’ll just leave it here.”
I smacked the lunchbox away.
“You’re so annoying. What? You think this is your chance? You think being nice to me now, when I’m weak, will get you somewhere? God, men are disgusting!”
I yelled, pouring out all the tangled emotions inside me.
I said exactly what I was thinking.
“You’re just going to abandon me like everyone else!”
The words slipped out before I could stop them.
That’s right. He’ll abandon me too.
So don’t bother with me in the first place!! Don’t be kind to me!! That’s what makes me the angriest!!
“I won’t abandon you. Not this time.”
Irie denied my words.
“Huh? Not this time?”
Without thinking, I lifted my head and looked at Irie’s face.
“I will not abandon you, Kotori Shiina.”
Irie declared with determination, staring directly at Kotori with unwavering eyes.
Where did the usual timid Irie go? His presence was now strong and imposing. The intensity in his gaze made Kotori involuntarily feel a bit overwhelmed.
Silence stretched between them.
This is bad. The usual Irie had a completely different vibe now, and it was throwing Kotori off balance.
“…Fine, do whatever you want. In the end, you’ll just abandon me like everyone else.”
She decided to give in.
He would leave her eventually, just like Miku did. If she thought of him as already gone, it wouldn’t hurt as much when he left.
She wouldn’t expect anything from him, so she wouldn’t be disappointed when he did abandon her.
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