Shao Xue slept like a rock.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept so soundly, without a single care. At first, she had dreams. Dreams of the aurora, the plains, the long rivers, and all the mountains and waters she had crossed. But the dream always ended at the Forbidden City. The wintery Forbidden City, where snow gently dusted the ground. She and Zheng Su Nian would ride their bicycles through the misty mornings of Beijing, through the crisscrossing hutongs and past the majestic Drum and Bell Towers, passing gate after gate studded with red lacquered nails.
In the restoration room, the palace cat softly meowed, licking her palm with its tongue.
Zheng Su Nian, bleary-eyed, lifted Er Hei from Shao Xue’s side.
He closed the door so quietly that Shao Xue didn’t notice. Er Hei struggled to get back to her, but Zheng Su Nian pushed him into the arms of Bai Yun Sheng, who was standing by the door.
Boss Bai wasn’t taking a break even on New Year’s Day. Fresh from a business trip to Suzhou, the first thing he did was come to retrieve his cat.
"What’s going on?" Bai Yun Sheng craned his neck to peer inside. "Why are you sleeping in the guest room today? Got company?"
Zheng Su Nian yawned, his tone casual, "Shao Xue’s back."
If he hadn’t grabbed Bai Yun Sheng, the man’s startled step backward would’ve made the security door bang loudly.
"She’s back?" His brain struggled to process this new information. "And she’s staying at your place? You two… last night, you…"
"Ugh, get lost!" Zheng Su Nian glared at him. "I’m sleeping in the guest room—what does that tell you?"
Bai Yun Sheng’s expression shifted from shock to understanding, then to a strange, indescribable sympathy.
Zheng Su Nian, unwilling to deal with him any longer, shoved him out the door.
Clang!
Thunk!
The sound was oddly similar to what had happened the previous night.
Bai Yun Sheng, now holding his cat in one hand, opened his car door with the other. Er Hei, settled in the familiar passenger seat, began dutifully scratching the leather seat again. Bai Yun Sheng glanced at his phone screen, staring for a while at the wallpaper of the girl slightly lowering her head while sewing, then quickly tossed the phone aside.
Er Hei, fully engrossed in scratching, was startled when the phone fell on his tail and let out a shrill cry.
Shao Xue hadn’t gotten up yet, and Zheng Su Nian didn’t feel right waking her. The phone at Zheng Jin’s place kept ringing, but he couldn’t explain anything to them, so he simply switched his phone to airplane mode.
The whole world went quiet.
Unbeknownst to him, his father’s place had already been visited by Shao Hua and Gu Yun Jin that morning. The three old colleagues sat staring at each other. Gu Yun Jin watched Shao Hua dial only to see "out of service" on the phone, finally sinking into the couch in defeat.
"Let the kids figure it out for themselves," Shao Hua sighed. "We should stop worrying."
Shao Xue slept well into the day.
Zheng Su Nian had gone out to buy groceries and made a big meal for both breakfast and lunch.
He ate it all himself.
He wasn’t sure if Shao Xue would wake up that night. It felt like he’d brought home a guest of honor—afraid to wake her if she hadn’t slept enough, but also worried she’d wake up hungry with no food to eat. As the sky darkened, he sat alone in the living room, smoking cigarette after cigarette, growing more melancholic with each puff.
Bringing Shao Xue back had been a moment of impulsiveness.
When Zhang Qi told him, he had remained rational. But after Qin Simu vividly described her pitiful state, he couldn’t hold back any longer. The feeling was one he had experienced once before, during the 2008 earthquake. Now, seven years later, it resurfaced because of Shao Xue.
He couldn’t wait—not even for a moment. All he wanted was to find her as quickly as possible.
But now that he had found her, what was he supposed to do?
If she wanted to leave again, could he stop her?
The door to the master bedroom creaked softly, and Zheng Su Nian instinctively tried to hide his cigarette behind him. Fumbling around for an ashtray and unable to find one, he panicked and pinched out the cigarette with his fingers.
His brow twitched from the pain—it hurt like hell.
The kitchen still smelled faintly of cooking oil, masking the scent of smoke on him. Shao Xue, still half-asleep, squinted at him, her eyes immediately noticing the tense muscles in his hand, where his veins stood out.
"What happened?" she asked as she poured herself a glass of water, her gaze not leaving his hand. "What’s wrong with your hand?"
"I grabbed the steamer bowl wrong while cooking."
Shao Xue took his hand and examined it. "It shouldn’t be this bad from just that. Do you have any medicine?"
When Zheng Su Nian returned with the medicine, Shao Xue had already filled a bowl with cold water. He reluctantly let her push his hand into the water, shivering from the sudden cold.
"Where did you find ice?"
"I scraped the ice off the freezer walls," she replied.
"You sure know how to handle things."
"Of course. Keep your hand in the cold water so it doesn't blister. Once it's out, we'll apply some ointment. I learned this trick while studying abroad."
"Where did you burn yourself?"
The cool water on Shao Xue's hands woke her up a bit more. She looked up at Zheng Su Nian and couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle.
"That was ages ago, and the burns have long healed."
Zheng Su Nian sat in the chair, watching as she rummaged through the fridge, skillfully lit the stove, and cooked, even using a clay pot he had bought but never used.
He felt like the person in front of him was somewhat unfamiliar. She had the same face as Shao Xue, even crying with that same look of vulnerability, nose and ears turning red. But inside, she was no longer the same person who had left years ago.
He stared at her in a daze as Shao Xue adjusted the heat on the stove and came over to check his hand.
The burn was slightly red, but no blisters had formed. Shao Xue squeezed some burn ointment onto his hand, gently spreading it over the skin. As she applied it, she blew on it softly, making half of Zheng Su Nian's body feel numb. She glanced at the cigarette butts in the trash can and casually asked, "Do you smoke?"
"No," Zheng Su Nian instinctively responded. "Sometimes Bai Yun Sheng comes over, and he's the one who smokes."
Then, silence fell between them.
The soup in the clay pot began to bubble, and he reached out with his other hand, first just brushing the ends of Shao Xue’s hair, then wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Eventually, he pulled her fully into his arms.
It was a hug that had been delayed for seven years.
She said, "I thought you’d moved on with someone else."
She said, "What if I hadn’t come back?"
And then she said, "Didn't I tell you not to wait for me?"
Her last sentence was choked with sobs. She was wearing one of Zheng Su Nian's shirts, oversized, with the hem falling to her knees. He slid his hands behind her, feeling the sharp bones of her thin frame.
"You’re too skinny," he said softly. "It’s better to be a bit fuller."
He added, "If you hadn’t come back, I would’ve just kept waiting."
Then, with a hint of frustration, "Who do you think you are? You think you can just leave whenever you want and tell me not to wait for you?"
Shao Xue sniffled, "Why do you hold grudges like this…"
Suddenly, the clay pot let out a loud whistling sound, and Shao Xue quickly pushed him away.
"Where are you going?" Zheng Su Nian asked.
Shao Xue rushed to the kitchen. "Turning off the stove! If the soup dries up, it could be dangerous. Let’s eat before it gets cold."
Rubbing his temples, Zheng Su Nian decided that after today, that clay pot would go back into storage, never to see the light of day again.
He really did hold grudges.
In Zheng Su Nian’s closet was a pair of men's size S pants that he had mistakenly ordered online. By the time he realized it was the wrong size, the return period had expired. The pants had been sitting in the back of his closet for over two years, but now they finally came in handy.
Shao Xue tightened the belt on the pants to the last notch and adjusted the oversized shirt, feeling that the outfit was passable.
"Let’s go."
Zheng Su Nian eagerly followed her out the door.
Seven years was no short time. Shao Xue had always been terrible with directions, and once they got onto the highway, she felt completely lost. She closed her eyes and gave up looking. The place had changed too much, and she suddenly understood the sentiment expressed by that overseas Chinese traveler she once met.
Geographically, it was her homeland, but visually, it felt like a foreign land.
After a long while, they finally made it to the main road, only to immediately hit traffic. The car crept forward bit by bit, and someone nearby honked impatiently. Shao Xue rolled down the window, glanced out, and mumbled, "Why so much anger?"
Zheng Su Nian chuckled, "You’ll get used to it."
He turned into the parking lot, and Shao Xue eagerly rushed into the mall.
With Qin Simu’s apartment locked up, Shao Xue had nothing—completely broke, she didn’t even have a change of clothes, just a phone and the sleepwear she was wearing. After Zheng Su Nian brought her back, even the translation documents she needed were resent by Qin Simu. On the phone, Qin Simu had been annoyingly considerate, checking in on her situation.
"The door’s locked? Well, nothing we can do. You might as well stay at Zheng Su Nian’s. I won’t be back for a few months, and there’s no key. You’re not the tenant, so you can’t get anyone to unlock it for you. Sorry, Shao Xue, there’s really nothing I can do."
Shao Xue gritted her teeth. "I still haven’t settled things with you about telling Zheng Su Nian that I was at your place."
Qin Simu had laughed. "Ugh, this filming location is in the middle of nowhere, no signal at all. Gotta go, Shao Xue, don’t call me unless it’s urgent. There’s no service here anyway."
Shao Xue had planned to visit her parents, but there was no way she could go home in Zheng Su Nian’s clothes. In the mall, women bustled back and forth, each dressed with an air of luxury. In contrast, Shao Xue, wearing an oversized men’s shirt, sheepishly entered a clothing store.
She tried on three outfits but didn’t like any of them. When she came out wearing a winter dress, Zheng Su Nian had disappeared.
A moment later, he returned with the receipt for the purchase.
"I didn’t say I wanted to buy this," she protested.
"I think it looks good," he replied, revealing a bit of the assertiveness she hadn’t expected from him. "If I think it looks good, you should wear it."
After that, he followed her like a human ATM, buying long boots, cashmere sweaters, coats, and leggings. Shao Xue couldn’t help but wonder if this was the same person who had questioned her the day before, asking, "Do you think I don’t make enough?"
When they got to the cosmetics section, she finally couldn’t take it anymore. Turning to him, she pleaded, "Even though I don’t have my cards or cash, I can still pay with my phone. You don’t have to do this; it’s too much."
“I’m willing,” Zheng Su Nian stubbornly replied, “I didn’t spend a cent on you in seven years. Can’t I splurge a little now?”
Two sales clerks behind the counter started whispering to each other, and Shao Xue, feeling the pressure, quickly escaped to another floor.
By the time they left the mall, the backseat was packed with shopping bags. Shao Xue wrapped her scarf around her nose and, with a triumphant air, climbed into Zheng Su Nian’s car.
“Feeling happy now?”
“Very happy,” Shao Xue exhaled contentedly. “Since I went broke, I haven’t felt this good.”
As the car pulled onto the road, Shao Xue noticed they weren’t heading back the same way. Even with her poor sense of direction, she could tell something was off. She tugged on Zheng Su Nian’s sleeve and asked, “Where are we going?”
“We’re going to see our parents,” Zheng Su Nian replied simply.
The traffic near their destination was terrible, so they parked two stops away and walked the rest of the way. It had snowed lightly on New Year’s Day, but today, the snow was coming down in earnest.
They were lucky it was a Monday—the palace was closed, and the place was nearly deserted. Shao Xue suddenly remembered something. “By the way, why aren’t you at work today?”
“I took half a day off.”
Since she didn’t have the courage to face her parents yet, the two of them didn’t head toward the restoration room. Instead, they strolled along the red walls, their footsteps leaving four neat lines of prints in the pristine snow.
“This is the happiest moment,” Zheng Su Nian said softly, as if afraid to scare away the birds hopping around in the snow. “Working here has its perks. The whole city is full of tall buildings, but this place still feels alive.”
“I wouldn’t call it lively,” Shao Xue mused. “Chinese architecture always strives for a balance between humans and nature, whether it’s the homes of commoners or the palaces of officials. Even the Forbidden City is like that. The Hall of Supreme Harmony is enormous, yet there isn’t a single nail in it.”
“Is it different abroad?”
“Very different,” Shao Xue shook her head. “They have a maritime civilization, always focused on conquering nature. They prize human craftsmanship above all else, which is completely different from our culture.”
After a moment of silence, Shao Xue glanced at him. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“What’s there to say?” he laughed. “You’ve always been good with words, and now you’re even more knowledgeable. I’m just humbly admitting defeat.”
Shao Xue gave him a playful shove. “Sounds like you’re being sarcastic.”
They soon found themselves at the edge of the Hall of Supreme Harmony’s square. This was their favorite place as children—vast, solemn, and majestic. Closing your eyes, you could almost imagine the grandeur of officials paying homage. Back then, climbing each step felt like a huge effort, but now Shao Xue easily took two steps at a time, racing to the top and shouting into the distance:
“Hey—!”
Her voice echoed through the sky, scattering in all directions.
At fifteen, in this very snow-covered square, he had asked her, “Have you thought about the future?”
She had replied, “I don’t know where I’ll be, but it won’t be here.”
And those words had come true.
Fourteen years had flown by like an arrow, scattering them to the winds. They had grown into the people they had dreamed of becoming, yet had almost lost each other along the way.
Now, fourteen years later, they stood here again, in the same place.
Zheng Su Nian felt his throat tighten, his fingers trembling. The cold air stung his nose, making his voice sound muffled. Taking a deep breath, he finally asked the question that had been weighing on his heart for days: “Shao Xue, are you leaving again?”
She tilted her head back.
Snowflakes settled on her eyelashes and melted instantly. She pulled the scarf down from her chin, revealing her rosy, frostbitten cheeks.
Somewhere in the distance, a bicycle creaked through the snow. The laughter of a girl drifted lightly through the air, echoing in the square of the Hall of Supreme Harmony.
She said, “I’m not leaving.”
“I’m not leaving, Zheng Su Nian.”
Standing before the Hall of Supreme Harmony, amidst the falling snow, she lifted her head and gently kissed the corner of his cold lips.
I’m not leaving, Zheng Su Nian.
I choose to stay. Not because I’m giving up anything, not because I’m making a sacrifice.
I choose to be here, with you.
I think I finally understand Aunt Jin’s choice.
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