"Su Nian ge, have some water."
It was Zhang Yi Yi speaking. After spending more than a week together, Zheng Su Nian realized he had misjudged him. Zhang truly wanted to help; he had just been a bit too eager at first.
After the initial aftershocks, things had finally begun to stabilize. International rescue teams and donations had started to arrive, though power, water, and communication lines were still down. The volunteers were working tirelessly, and Zheng Su Nian’s mind no longer lingered on the situation with Shao Xue. Faced with life and death, with people torn apart from their loved ones, their personal emotions seemed trivial in comparison.
One day, they rescued a little girl trapped under the rubble, a young dancer whose legs had been completely paralyzed. As she was pulled from the debris, she collapsed into Zheng Su Nian’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Gege, will I never be able to dance again? Please tell me! I don’t want them to cut off my legs. I just learned a new dance that I was going to show my mom!"
Her cries tore at his heart. The pain in her voice burrowed deep into his bones. He couldn’t sleep that night, throwing on a jacket and stepping outside.
With no electricity, the only light came from the stars overhead. A middle-aged man approached him, stopping a few meters away.
"Zheng Su Nian!"
Zheng Su Nian was startled, freezing mid-step. He squinted into the dark, trying to make out who it was.
The man had a thick beard, glasses reflecting faint starlight. He took another step forward, and his large hand clapped heavily onto Zheng Su Nian’s shoulder.
"Don’t you remember me? From Tan Zhe Temple, the art studio prep course? I’m Du ge!"
Suddenly, it all clicked, and Zheng Su Nian burst into laughter.
The shelter they were staying in was makeshift, with locals having salvaged tables and chairs from their homes, lining them up for people to sit and rest. Du ge collapsed into an old armchair, rubbing his stomach and staring up at the sky.
"So, you made it into the Academy, huh? Life really has its way. I took the entrance exam so many times and never got in, but you passed in one go."
"Just luck," Zheng Su Nian smiled. "Where are you now?"
"I’m in Chengdu with my dad, running a restaurant. I told you about it back then, remember?" Du sighed. "When I heard the news about the earthquake, my heart sank, and I thought I had to come help however I could. Who knew I’d run into you on my third day here?"
"Hey, by the way," Du Ge straightened up. "What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?"
"Me? I'm feeling down."
"Sick?"
"No, just down in the dumps."
"That's normal." Du Ge lit a cigarette and handed one to Zheng Su Nian. "Haven't tried it yet?"
This time, Zheng Su Nian hesitated.
It was his first time smoking, and he ended up coughing violently. Du Ge looked out at the wreckage of the city and sighed deeply. "You know, all these years, I couldn’t figure it out. Painting was a dream I chased but never caught. I always thought I’d make it big, return home in glory. But no one bought my art, and the schools I wanted didn’t accept me. The worst thing isn’t not having a dream, but having one without the talent to achieve it.
"The earthquake hit my hometown too. Looking at the survivors, I feel like my life is something I’ve stolen, like it doesn’t belong to me. When you're young, you don’t want to accept fate, and it hurts when you don’t get what you want. But now I understand. Living is living, no matter how you do it; it’s just one lifetime.
"I love painting, but it can’t be my career, so I’ll just keep doing it for fun. I love a woman, but we can’t be together, so there’s no point in pining over it."
The smoke swirled around, making Zheng Su Nian’s eyes water. The words from that letter jumped back into his mind, one by one—
"Su Nian ge, I’m not as noble as Aunt Jin, the kind of woman who can give up infinite possibilities for love.
"I still have so many things I want to do. I can’t be with you for life.
"I’m going far away. We both have futures that we passionately pursue, and we both know neither of us would give up our dreams for the other.
"So let’s say goodbye while things are still good."
Far from home, on the southwestern plateau, choked by the cheap cigarette smoke, tears streamed down Zheng Su Nian’s face.
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