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Glazed Tiles of the Past — Extra 1. Old Memories from Long Ago


Weddings are troublesome affairs.

Sending invitations, booking banquets—these were all responsibilities of the groom's family. Zheng Jin wasn’t good at such things, which left him scrambling around in a bit of chaos. Fortunately, his in-laws, who were colleagues for over 20 years, came early to help organize everything.

Shao Xue, with her personality, had to be involved in everything. She woke up at three in the morning on the wedding day and, while getting her hair done, kept pestering the wedding planner about the schedule. Eventually, she got a call from Zheng Su Nian, who, for the first time, scolded the bride early in the morning: “Just sit there and look beautiful. I’ll take care of everything else!”

Shao Xue hung up and grumbled, “Simu, could you stop tattling on me?”

Qin Simu had already slipped away to the hallway to admire the decorations, leaving Shao Xue no choice but to settle down.

The young ones loved excitement, so the wedding was held in an outdoor garden. Colleagues from the restoration department filled two rows, while the rest of the guests were friends and family. The warm sunlight fell gently on everyone’s faces, brightening their spirits.

It’s always a good thing when lovers become a married couple.

Zheng Jin had woken up too early and felt a bit drowsy. While people were chatting and waiting for the ceremony to start, he leaned back in his chair, half-asleep, half-awake.

Back in the day, it had been the same sunny weather.

He must have been just over twenty back then, completely focused on his work in the clock restoration department. One day, out of the blue, he was asked to dig up some tree roots.

It was a newly planted fig tree, with barely sprouted leaves and fresh soil around its roots. As he dug deep near the roots, the fragile branches shook as if they were being sieved.

Suddenly, a sharp scream erupted behind him, and Jin Ning snatched the shovel from his hands.

“What are you doing, chopping down my tree?”

Zheng Jin, already not the most eloquent person, was left speechless in the face of this aggressive girl. His face turned red, but fortunately, Luo Huaijin stepped out just in time to save him.

“What are you yelling about?”

Jin Ning ran to their master. “Master, look at what he’s done! He’s cutting down the fig tree I worked so hard to plant!”

Zheng Jin, feeling utterly wronged, protested, “It was my master who told me to cut it. He said the tree was too tall and posed a safety risk.”

Jin Ning glared at him fiercely, but he didn’t even glance her way. Instead, he thought to himself: This girl does have pretty big eyes...

“Zheng, the ceremony’s about to start.” Yu Dong Ge nudged him, sitting down beside him with Shaohua.

“How about that, after all these years as colleagues, we’re family now.” Shaohua teased, making Qiao Mu and Si Yuan, seated nearby, laugh. The sound system hummed to life, and the master of ceremonies slowly approached the microphone.

The opening remarks were the same tired lines he’d heard at countless weddings. Perhaps because they were outdoors in a garden, a cat suddenly dashed past, catching Zheng Jin’s attention.

A cat?

Why did his mind keep wandering on such an important day? Zheng Jin patted his face but still couldn’t stop himself from sinking back into memories.

The restoration courtyard had many cats.

They were all strays, taking over the courtyards at night and refusing to leave by morning. When they saw Zheng Jin open the door, they would glance at him haughtily, then leisurely leap onto the roof tiles.

Jin Ning often squatted in their courtyard, feeding the cats.

Once, a cat lost a fight with a rat and came limping into the yard with a torn ear, mewling for attention. Jin Ning wanted to apply medicine but couldn’t hold the cat still, so she called Zheng Jin to help her restrain it.

“Careful, it might scratch you.”

“It’s fine,” Jin Ning, ever bold, reassured him. “Just hold it. It knows better than to attack.”

But wild animals are hard to tame, and the cat wasn’t grateful. The medicine stung, and it hissed, baring its teeth and scratching Jin Ning’s hand. Zheng Jin reacted quickly, blocking the blow with his own hand, which now bore three fresh claw marks.

Tiny droplets of blood beaded up on his hand, and Jin Ning panicked.

“Let’s go to the hospital for a shot.”

“It’s just a scratch from a cat. What’s there to worry about?” Zheng Jin thought she was making a fuss. “I’ve been scratched before, and I’m fine.”

“This is a stray, and it hasn’t been vaccinated,” Jin Ning persisted, unwilling to back down. “It just fought a rat! Who knows what kind of diseases its claws might carry?”

Unable to argue with her, they both took time off to visit the nearest hospital. The doctor, being thorough, not only gave him a shot but also bandaged his hand. The wound was shallow, but the bandage was wrapped so many times it looked like he had a broken bone.

Zheng Jin lived nearby, in a neighborhood of old alleys where the same families had lived for hundreds of years. An old man sitting by the gate, cooling off, squinted as Jin Ning sped by on her bike with Zheng Jin sitting behind her and muttered to himself, “A girl giving a ride to a young lad? What kind of world is this?”

Zheng Jin’s parents had passed away early, so he lived with his grandmother, who was in her sixties and suffering from dementia. When she saw Jin Ning drop Zheng Jin off, she didn’t say anything but studied the two of them carefully. After a long while, she suddenly asked, “This girl is beautiful. Is she my granddaughter-in-law?”

Jin Ning blushed and ran off in embarrassment.

The next day, Zheng Jin arrived late, and the master had already opened the workshop. He set down his bag and noticed a small pile of freshly picked figs on the glass counter.

“Zheng, Zheng!” Yu Dong Ge’s voice called out, snapping him back to the present. “They’re about to toast you!”

Zheng Jin, startled from his memories, hurriedly stood up. 


Zheng Su Nian and Shao Xue had often talked about how much trouble a wedding could be, and he truly felt the same way. But in life, one had to consider social customs and obligations, and he feared people might gossip behind their backs if they skipped the formalities. He had thought the hassle would fall more on the younger couple, yet here he was, an older man, still caught up in the wedding frenzy.

They had to go on stage for the toasts, with dozens of family and friends seated below. Shao Xue respectfully called him “Dad,” so he followed tradition, drank the wine, and then helped the young woman he had known for over twenty years to stand up.

The host was preparing to speak again.

Zheng Su Nian noticed the faces in the crowd starting to blur.

Jin Ning used to come to the clock repair workshop to find him.

He hadn’t interacted much with girls before and found Jin Ning’s constant chattering surprisingly pleasant, never annoying. They gradually became familiar with each other, talking about anything and everything.

One day, she brought him a broken music box. Back then, such items were still a rarity, and this particular box was especially exquisite. A golden-haired, blue-eyed girl stood inside the half-dome of the box. When the music played, the girl was supposed to twirl along with the melody, but now she only moved in fits and starts, damaged by some external force.

There was a line of foreign text on the bottom of the music box that Zheng Su Nian didn’t recognize: “eternità.”

His curiosity piqued. “What does that mean?”

Jin Ning, who had been examining a clock he had just repaired, turned her head casually and glanced at the box. “Eternità. It means ‘eternal’ or ‘immortal,’ I think. It’s Italian.”

He smiled and carefully placed the music box on the table.

“You speak Italian?”

“Yeah, I learned it when I was in England.”

“You studied in England?”

“Yes, I was there for a while,” she said, as if it were no big deal. “I came here to gain some experience, but I’ll be applying to a graduate program in Italy for art restoration next year.”

Zheng Su Nian lowered his head.

“Is it hard to get in?”

“No… not really.” He examined the music box, unscrewed the base, and got to work. It wasn’t much different from a clock, after all. Gears, springs, screws—Western inventions all had that same mechanical precision. A few twists of the screwdriver and a touch of lubricant later, the box was working again.

Jin Ning took the fixed music box, practically bouncing with joy as she headed out the door. He suddenly called out to her.

“Jin Ning,” his throat felt dry, “could you… not go?”

“What’s the matter?” Jin Ning misunderstood, laughing. “I’m just going back to the art restoration room. Why don’t we have lunch together?”

He smiled bitterly, shook his head, and sighed.

“All right, I’ll wait for you outside at noon.”

“Dad, Dad,” Zheng Su Nian gently tapped him on the shoulder from behind, “Do you want to say something?”

The microphone was handed to him, and Zheng Su Nian hadn’t fully returned to the present. Hundreds of eyes were now watching him from below, and his palms began to sweat.

“Uh,” the typical opening of an old government official. Zheng Su Nian cleared his throat, “Well, uh…”

“Being a parent, raising your children for decades, it all leads to this day.

“Shao Xue is a wonderful girl, and of course, our Su Nian isn’t bad either. The two of them grew up together. I remember Jin Ning always saying how perfect they were for each other, but I didn’t see it back then. Looking at them now, though, I guess mothers do have a sharper eye for these things.”

From the crowd, Yu Dong Ge grew anxious. “Oh no, look, Zheng’s bringing up Jin Ning at a time like this.”

“So what if he does?” Shao Hua chuckled, “She can’t be here, after all. Is it so bad to mention her?”

“Time really does age us all. Back when we were young, who could have imagined one day becoming parents, in-laws, even grandparents? Time flies so fast. All I hope for now is that the two of them live their lives well and cherish the time they have together. It hasn’t been easy for them, and I know that as a father. Su Nian’s got a good temper, but sometimes he can be a bit stubborn. Shao Xue, on the other hand, is quick-witted and clever. If he ever messes up, just come to me, and I’ll deal with him for you.”

The audience erupted into good-natured laughter.

He didn’t have much more to say, and as the microphone was lowered, father and son embraced briefly on stage.

Years of being father and son had brought them close as brothers. Into his son’s ear, he whispered words only the two of them could hear: “Your mom would be so happy.”

Zheng Su Nian froze for a moment, then gently patted his father’s shoulder.

“Definitely.”

Shao Hua and his wife also went up to the stage. Zheng Su Nian sat back down, smiling as he watched from his seat.

In the spring, they had taken a trip to Shanghai.

It was for an international conference attended by many restoration experts. Originally, his mentor had been scheduled to go, but due to age and mobility issues, Zheng Su Nian found himself visiting the bustling streets of Shanghai for the first time.

They were all in their twenties, full of energy, and after the meeting, they wandered the streets, snapping photos of the sycamores and the European-style buildings. Jin Ning wore a small shawl, spreading her arms wide as she stood by the Huangpu River.

The wind caught her long hair, and the sunlight gave her a glowing halo. Standing at the riverbank, she looked as if she might ascend into the sky at any moment. Shanghai had the latest fashion trends, and Zheng Su Nian found himself acting as Jin Ning’s mobile clothing rack. She had gone to a master tailor to have a light blue qipao made and twirled in front of him, radiant and beautiful.

"How do I look?"

Zheng Su Nian smiled, nodding in approval as he looked at her.

He knew that the days when he could gaze at her so freely were probably numbered.

Not long after they returned, Jin Ning’s acceptance letter arrived.

She was leaving early, and her things were already packed. After completing her resignation paperwork, she gave each of her mentors a generous gift. By the afternoon, she finally had time to step into Zheng Su Nian’s courtyard.

Jin Ning handed him a small box.

“I’ve been thinking for a long time about what to give you. You’re not like the other older mentors—you don’t smoke, you don’t drink, and you don’t have any hobbies like chess or cards. After thinking it over, I decided to pickle all the figs from the tree and give them to you. You should eat them soon, or they’ll go bad.”

Zheng Su Nian paused what he was doing but didn’t look up. “Just leave it there. I’ll take it after work.”

A faint sound of something being set down came from behind him.

Jin Ning’s voice was soft as she asked, “I’m leaving tomorrow. Could you send me off?”

He took a long breath, swallowing the bitterness in his chest, and slowly said, “I have things to do. Safe travels.”

There was silence behind him. After a moment, the courtyard gate creaked open, and Zheng Su Nian let go of all his strength, sinking into the hard chair with his eyes closed.

The ticking of the clocks filled the room. That afternoon felt as long as a lifetime.

He had never been much of a drinker, but that night, he got thoroughly drunk. In those days, going abroad often meant never meeting again. Just when he had met a kindred spirit, he had to face a farewell that would last a lifetime. In the restaurant, people looked curiously at the young man drinking with figs as a snack. He mumbled to himself between sips, and anyone who passed by could hear him repeating, “Safe travels, I wish you safe travels.”

The wedding reached its climax.

Shao Xue held the bouquet in her hands and aimed it at Qin Simu. A group of unmarried women gathered, laughing and making a commotion, while Qin Simu stood up, clutching her dress and her chest. “I caught it! I caught it!”

The older guests rose to toast each other. As the groom’s father, Zheng Su Nian couldn’t escape. His tolerance for alcohol wasn’t great, and halfway through the toasts, he grew dizzy and had to sit down. When he tried to stand up, he stumbled into one of his son’s friends.

Bai Yun Sheng quickly steadied him. “Uncle, are you okay?”

Zheng Su Nian mumbled, “Do you have… figs?”

Bai Yun Sheng was confused. “Figs? What for?”

Zheng Su Nian pushed him aside and walked outside alone, muttering, “Jin Ning, where are you? I’m coming to find you…”

“Where do you think you’re going to find me?” A girl stood in front of him. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

Zheng Su Nian looked up, and tears immediately streamed down his face.

“I’m back, aren’t I?” Jin Ning stood there in the sunlight, unchanged from when she was twenty-two, with long, black hair. She reached out and hugged him. “Su Nian is getting married. Why are you wandering around?”

Zheng Su Nian spiraled into despair, scolded by many for his behavior. His master constantly nagged him from behind. “Who doesn’t see that you like Jin Ning? If you like her, why didn’t you chase after her? You just let her leave? Am I blind not to see that she had feelings for you too? What kind of man are you, hesitating like that? Do you expect her to give up her bright future to stay with you?”

Even his grandmother didn’t understand. “Where’s my granddaughter-in-law? Why hasn’t she come back?”

“She left,” Zheng Su Nian said. “She went far, far away.”

Grandma looked down on him for his uselessness. “She left? Then go bring her back.”

“She’s gone, Grandma. She went too far. I can’t bring her back.”

The year after Jin Ning left, his grandmother fell seriously ill. Given her age, the doctors didn’t pursue aggressive treatment, using only medication to ease her pain. After half a year in the hospital, Zheng’s grandmother passed away.

In her final two days, she seemed to rally. After more than ten years of mental fog, she suddenly became clear-headed. She held Zheng Su Nian’s hand and meticulously planned everything for the funeral—how many candles to light, how to divide the inheritance Grandpa left behind, and where all the important documents were hidden. She left nothing unsaid.

When she finished, the light in her eyes dimmed.

She gently touched Zheng Su Nian’s thin shoulders and whispered, “Your parents left early, and all these years, I’ve been more confused than clear-headed. You’ve stumbled your way through life without much guidance from your elders. I don’t know much, but I know you truly loved that girl. If you love her, go find her. There’s no shame in that.”

He thought his grandmother was confused again, so he tucked her in and made an excuse to get her some water. Outside the hospital room, he went to the breezy balcony and lit a cigarette. Over the past two years, he had picked up smoking, as well as the habit of avoiding any mention of Jin Ning. Whether it was from his master or his grandmother, whenever the subject came up, he found a reason to leave.

By the time he returned to the room, his grandmother had passed away.

Perhaps because he had prepared himself, the grief wasn’t as overwhelming as he had imagined. There were the usual duties to handle—the cremation, the funeral, the farewells, the paperwork. He handled it all alone while relatives came in droves to pay their respects. After going through the entire process, he was utterly exhausted, almost drained of life. Even though he forced himself to work for a few more days, a young reporter came to the restoration office.

She was about the same age as Jin Ning, chatting away while holding a notebook. As she was about to leave, she pulled a letter from her pocket like a magician.

“What’s this?” he asked, surprised.

“I studied abroad, and Jin Ning was in a neighboring department. We stayed in touch all this time. I think you should read what she wrote.”

It was a manila envelope, postmarked from overseas. Trembling, Zheng Su Nian opened it. Inside, the familiar bold strokes of Jin Ning’s handwriting greeted him. Yet her words were written with such tenderness.

"I've thought about it for a long time, and I've regretted it for just as long. Sigh, if one day you fall in love with a man, don’t do what I did—don’t wait for him to confess, don’t wait for him to find you, don’t wait for him to make the first move. If there’s someone you love, go to him, wherever he is. Don’t walk away like I did. By the time you realize your feelings and regret it, the person will be long gone, and it will be too late for love."

Zheng Jin was stunned.

He looked up, his voice hoarse as he asked, "Is it too late?"

The young reporter didn’t answer. She pressed her lips into a smile and asked, "What do you think? Is it too late?"

Outside, the lush green leaves rustled in the wind. This ancient palace had remained unchanged for all these years. Zheng Jin stood there for a long time, and suddenly, everything became clear to him.

He understood now. If the one you love doesn’t return, then you go find them. If the city gates are closed, you scale the walls if you must. The Forbidden City may be indifferent, so why pour your heartache into it? When you love someone, what is there to fear, even if they are at the farthest ends of the earth?

He took leave from work, packed his bags, and applied for a visa. The visa officer asked, "Why are you going to Italy? For travel, study, or work?"

"I’m going to find the woman I love," he replied.

Visas weren’t easy to come by, but surprisingly, Zheng Jin’s was approved on the first try. The officer handed him back his documents with an encouraging smile.

"Good luck," the visa officer said. "I have someone I love too."

He didn’t care about anything else anymore. He set off for the place on the map that he had traced over countless times—the place where the woman he loved was. He was going to tell her that he had crossed mountains and seas to find her. He was going to tell her that he loved her deeply.

Meanwhile, Zheng Su Nian and Bai Yun Sheng carried Zheng Jin to a couch behind the wedding venue.

"Uncle’s tolerance for alcohol," Bai Yun Sheng shook his head, "you should have kept an eye on him."

Zheng Su Nian sighed. "I was busy with the toasts; I didn’t realize until it was too late."

"He nearly collapsed at the front gate. It’s a good thing I noticed something was off and caught him."

"What was off?"

Bai Yun Sheng let out a long sigh. "He was asking me for figs. Hey, you’d better get back out there. The groom disappearing halfway through the wedding? That’s not a good look."

Nodding, Zheng Su Nian quickly rushed back toward Shao Xue.

Zheng Jin lay back on the soft couch, his mouth slightly open, his whole body basking in the warm sunlight. Although he was in his fifties, the expression on his face was strikingly youthful, filled with joy, nervousness, anticipation, and longing.

After all these years, he could finally see Jin Ning’s face clearly in his dreams. In his dreams, spring was in full bloom, and two lovers, long separated, were reunited. They embraced tightly on foreign soil, whispering their deepest longings and affections to one another, as if they would never part again.

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