I softly sighed at the reflection of my face in the mirror.
My dark brown hair, which is nothing unusual, spreads in all directions, making it a challenge to run a comb through it.
My similarly dark brown eyes have weak vision and I can’t see well without glasses. Perhaps because I have the habit of squinting, my gaze often looks harsh.
The only thing that resembles my mother is my pale and fine skin, but even that is faintly sprinkled with freckles. My childhood friend Sieg often teased me, saying they looked like breadcrumbs.
My low nose and lips, which naturally droop at the corners, always give me an irritated look.
I forced a smile, but even I found my face in the mirror creepy.
My body is skinny, with hardly any curves to speak of.
I hate this version of myself.
I sighed again, hurriedly tied my hair into a loose bun, and headed out to the shop.
Today is my day off from working as a lady-in-waiting at the royal palace.
“I’ll help out in the shop today.”
“Oh, sister, it’s your day off! You should take it easy.”
“The shop is busy around this time, isn’t it? Should I stock these items?”
My younger sister Alice is sixteen, three years younger than me.
She has straight, bright chestnut hair and soft chestnut-colored eyes, with long lashes and wide, expressive eyes. She resembles our mother with her beautiful features—a straight nose and full lips.
Her body is also much curvier than mine, with a large chest and hips, though her waist is as slim as mine.
“Susan, you don’t need to be at the shop. With that face, it would be a shame if customers said something unkind. You can handle the accounting in the back, alright?”
Even though she’s over 40, my mother, still beautiful, gently called out to me.
“Mother!”
“Huh? Why are you angry, Alice?”
Mother tilted her head in confusion.
She means no harm... not one bit. She has no idea how every word she’s said since I was little has hurt me.
The more Alice defended me, the more miserable I felt.
She might look like Mother, but inside, she’s kind like our father.
When Father’s home, he quickly scolds Mother if she says something bad about me, but he’s often away dealing with trade in other countries.
I love Alice, my gentle and beautiful little sister, but I also hate her. She’s pure, and I’m tainted inside.
“Fine. I’ll take care of the accounting.”
“Yes, do that. Alice, Mother, and the other employees will handle the shop. Oh, Sieg said he’d stop by this afternoon.”
Hearing Sieg’s name immediately dampened my spirits.
Sieg is my childhood friend, and though it was never formalized, we’ve been engaged since we were young.
My mother and Sieg’s mother have been friends since their school days, and Mother insisted on arranging the engagement.
Sieg is tall for a commoner and has handsome features.
I often see the town girls gathered around him, clinging to him.
“With that face of yours, if I hadn’t pleaded, you’d never have gotten married. You’d be miserable, alone for the rest of your life. You should be grateful to your mother.”
“Yes, you’re absolutely right.”
There’s no point in arguing. Nothing will get through to her.
“Mother, stop it! What’s so great about that womanizer anyway?”
“Alice, don’t say such things out of jealousy. You’re beautiful, like me, so you can find someone on your own.”
Mother giggled, like she was soothing a child throwing a tantrum.
See? Nothing gets through.
I cast a glance at Alice, silently telling her to stop.
Her face crumpled, and she looked like she was about to cry.
“Hello, Auntie! You’re beautiful as ever!”
Sieg arrived in the afternoon, squinting his friendly black eyes as he greeted my mother.
“Sieg, hello. Still as handsome as ever.”
“Haha, not really. Oh, Alice, your chest has gotten even bigger, hasn’t it? You should share some of that with Susan.”
“Oh, Sieg, stop it.”
Mother giggled, and Alice glared at him in disgust.
“Even when a beauty glares, it’s cute. Unlike Susan’s face.”
“Sorry, Auntie, but I’m really glad Sieg’s going to marry her. I feel so relieved.”
“Auntie, to be honest, I would have preferred Alice.”
“Just put up with Susan, alright? She’s like that, and without you, she’d be alone forever. It’s pitiful, isn’t it? But she is the heir, so if you marry her, you’ll eventually be the master of this shop, okay?”
“Well, since Auntie insists, I guess I’ll take Susan off your hands.”
As I stood there, unable to step forward into the conversation, my eyes met Alice’s as she, unwilling to stay, tried to head to the back.
“Aren’t you upset hearing them say things like that?”
“There’s nothing I can do. It’s true that I won’t be able to get married if Sieg doesn’t take me.”
I shrugged, but Alice’s face twisted in anger.
“Don’t say things like that. You graduated at the top of your class from the commercial school. You’ve been working honorably as a lady-in-waiting at the royal palace. You’re my proud sister.”
“Thank you.”
Thanks to graduating at the top of the commercial school, I was recommended by the headmaster, a noble, and managed to get a position as a lady-in-waiting at the royal palace.
It’s the only thing I take pride in.
“Susan? Are you there? Don’t keep Sieg waiting, come quickly.”
Mother must have overheard our conversation, as she called out to me.
“I’m going.”
“Sister…”
Alice looked at me with concern, so I forced a smile and patted her shoulder.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“You still have that gloomy look on your face.”
Sieg frowned, clearly displeased.
“Sorry, it seems she’s nervous from not having seen you in a while. Come on now, you’re going on a date, aren’t you? Have fun.”
“We will.”
Sieg left the shop without waiting for me, and I hurried to follow behind him at a quick trot.
He never matched my pace, nor did he ask if I was okay. He didn’t even glance at the effort I’d put into dressing up.
I simply followed in his footsteps as we walked, until he silently entered a slightly upscale café.
He was quickly guided to a seat by the staff and began looking at the menu.
“Are you alone?”
“Oh, no, I’m with him.”
“Apologies.”
Even the staff didn’t seem to realize that I was with Sieg.
He ordered the most expensive dish and closed the menu.
It was nothing new, so I quietly sighed and ordered tea.
“You know, with a face as pitiful as yours, you should stop sighing. If Alice sighed, it’d be sexy, though.”
Sieg looked at me with a mocking grin.
“I’m sorry.”
After that, there was only silence.
“Oh, look, it’s Sieg! Can we join you?”
“Oh, it really is! I’ll sit next to you, Sieg.”
“No, I’ll sit next to him!”
“Well, alright, I’ll sit in the middle, so both of you can sit next to me.”
“As expected of Sieg, so considerate!”
Before I knew it, two women with heavy makeup and revealing dresses sat on either side of Sieg, giggling.
Sieg grinned, his expression full of satisfaction.
“Hi there! We’re Sieg’s very good friends!”
“Yeah, very close friends.”
The two women grinned mischievously.
“Hello.”
“This one, she’s my fiancée, with a face like that.”
“Ah, the one we’ve heard about.”
They exchanged knowing glances and laughed under their breath.
I lowered my head, trying to escape their gaze.
“I want to eat this.”
“Then I’ll have this.”
“Sure, order whatever you like.”
“As expected of Sieg.”
The table was soon filled with food, and the women were loud and chatty.
“Oh my, this is delicious. Here, Sieg, say ‘ahh.’”
“This one’s tasty too. Here, ‘ahh.’”
Sieg, clearly enjoying himself, was fed by both women, one after the other.
I quietly sipped my tea.
The fragrance should have been pleasant, and it should have tasted good, but I couldn’t taste anything at all.
After they finished eating, Sieg left the café with both women clinging to his arms.
Their ample chests pressed against him, and Sieg’s grin only widened.
I paid for the meal and apologized to the staff for the disturbance.
The look of pity in their eyes pained me.
Once I stepped outside, I finally spotted Sieg and the women in the distance and started to chase after them.
"Susan, I'll take this. And also this, and this."
When we entered the next shop, Sieg pointed at clothes and accessories one after another.
"Am I supposed to pay for these?"
"Huh?! I'm doing you a favor by being engaged to you, so of course. Or would you rather end the engagement?"
"...I'll pay."
I don’t think anyone other than Sieg would ever marry me.
I don't want to be left unmarried.
While I was paying, the three of them disappeared again.
I found Sieg and trailed after him, head down.
This was what our dates were always like.
Can this even be called a date? I had serious doubts, but perhaps I should be grateful he at least walked me back to the house, if only to save face in front of Mother and Alice...
* * *
"Susan, did you hear about the Count's daughter who had her engagement annulled?"
"She was betrothed to the Second Prince, wasn’t she? What a tragedy."
The former fiancée of His Highness the Second Prince was Lady Miriam, daughter of the Haunest family.
She was a quiet, unremarkable young lady who didn’t leave much of an impression.
When a noblewoman has her engagement annulled, it’s almost impossible for her to marry. Even if she could, it would likely be as the much younger second wife of some noble or perhaps to someone from a wealthy merchant family.
Truly, I felt sorry for her.
But at the same time, I found myself feeling a strange sense of relief, knowing that someone was suffering more than I was.
Even though being with Sieg meant being ridiculed and feeling awful, I was still better off than a Count’s daughter who had been jilted.
After all, no matter what, I could at least marry Sieg...
"They say that Countess Miriam is going to work as a junior lady-in-waiting at the royal palace."
"What? The former fiancée of the Second Prince?!"
I wondered if she had resigned herself to giving up on marriage and took the job out of necessity.
Though being a junior lady-in-waiting is my one source of pride, the thought of someone like her stepping into that role left me with a bitter taste.
After that, the talk of the tragic Lady Miriam, Countess of Haunest, spread everywhere.
They said she cried all day, that all her marriage prospects were being rejected, that even the sons of merchants were reluctant to propose.
There were all sorts of rumors, and it was impossible to tell which, if any, were true.
Every time I heard those rumors, I felt a strange sense of comfort.
Knowing there was someone worse off than me made me feel better about my own situation.
It’s okay. I’m okay.
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