Reizen Vance is a count who governs a remote region.
The young count with black hair and blue eyes was somewhat famous in high society due to his striking beauty, cold demeanor, and impartial, often brusque, interactions.
He had neither a lover nor a fiancée and was completely free of scandalous rumors. However, it was recently said that he had finally taken a wife. He reportedly married someone he had never even met, simply because their family status matched and there were no political complications.
The women who admired Reizen’s beauty were left feeling conflicted, thinking, “My favorite has gotten married,” while the men who knew his coldness hoped, “Maybe having a wife will soften him.”
Half a month after the wedding, Reizen had yet to speak a word to his wife since the day of their marriage.
At the moment, Reizen was not at his manor but at the fortress. The person standing in front of him during his official duties was not his wife but one of his subordinates.
Reizen’s territory was near the border, so there was a fortress and soldiers stationed for defense. However, the neighboring country had good relations with them, so the border troops were mainly occupied with dealing with magical beasts that descended from the treacherous mountain range and attacked people.
As Reizen reviewed documents with his usual cold expression, devoid of any “newlywed glow,” his subordinate spoke up.
“Commander, now that the magical beast situation has settled, you can finally return home.”
Reizen, who also served as the commander of the troops, was referred to as “Commander” by his subordinates. It was a formal title, though his subordinates had also given him various nicknames, such as “Demon,” “Cold-blooded,” “Permafrost,” “Miracle if a budget passes,” “Ice Maker,” and “Can kill with his gaze,” among others. The subordinate before him had once called him “Ice Maker” within earshot and ended up encased in ice by Reizen’s magic. It was a workplace full of camaraderie.
“It's tough being newly married and buried in work, huh, Commander!”
At his subordinate’s words, Reizen raised his head from the documents.
“Newly married?”
Having been holed up in the fortress, leading the charge against a pack of magical beasts, he had only now remembered that he was, indeed, a newlywed.
As he made his way back to his home after a long absence, Reizen thought about his wife.
His wife, Fina, was nineteen years old, seven years younger than him. Their marriage was arranged because the interests of their two families aligned. He clearly remembered that she had black hair and black eyes. However, her face was somewhat vague in his memory. After all, he hadn’t spoken a word to her since they first met at the wedding, half a month ago. Naturally, they hadn’t spent their wedding night together, or even held hands.
Leaving his newlywed wife for half a month was quite rude, but failing to recognize her upon their reunion would be even worse. While it wasn’t a marriage of love, proper etiquette was still required. To Reizen, marriage was an obligation for nobles, a job that had to be fulfilled with responsibility. That was his view. He was fairly confident he would recognize his wife at a glance, but just in case, he mentally retraced his memories of Fina.
He first met Fina on the day of their wedding.
Her face was ghastly pale, completely out of place with the bright and festive atmosphere of the ceremony and her pure white gown. Reizen spoke to her.
“Are you feeling unwell?”
“…I’m sorry, it’s… menstrual cramps…”
Although Reizen had no experience with menstrual pain, he could tell from her appearance that something was seriously wrong.
“How severe is this menstrual pain?”
“Well, to put it in terms that might be understandable to a man… It’s like a lamprey eel wriggling into your mouth, rampaging violently inside your intestines, and then finally greeting you through your rectum…”
“…I… see…”
Though she had attempted to explain it in terms a man could understand, the result was a horrifically vivid example that most men, or people in general, would never experience. Nevertheless, Reizen understood that the pain was excruciating and nodded solemnly.
On the battlefield, when his subordinates showed weakness, Reizen would warmly encourage them with phrases like, “If you’re going to be a burden, just die.” However, he wasn’t so heartless as to chastise someone enduring the pain of “a lamprey eel rampaging in your intestines and then greeting you through the rectum.” Especially since this person was not a soldier but his new wife, and this wasn’t a battlefield, but a wedding hall.
“You should rest now. I’ll have you sent home first.”
“What? No, but… there are greetings, and greetings, and more greetings, all those social obligations…”
“You can leave all of that to me.”
And so, despite being the bride, Fina left the wedding early and was sent ahead to Reizen’s estate.
Later that day, when Reizen returned home, he briefly spoke to Fina, who was lying exhausted on the bed, and then left the room. The exchange of “Is there anything you need?” and “I’d like a konjac compress, a hot water bottle, and some jujube tea” was the last conversation Reizen could recall having with his wife.
Afterward, Reizen learned from the Vance family’s head butler, a 40-year veteran, that “a woman’s period usually lasts about a week.” He decided not to approach Fina for that week. He figured that having an unfamiliar husband hovering around while she was suffering from “lamprey eel”-like pain would only make her feel more fatigued out of politeness.
Reizen instructed the servants to take good care of his wife, ensuring she always had a konjac compress, a hot water bottle, and jujube tea, especially until her health improved. Then he left the estate, deciding to bury himself in work for the week.
Just as he was about to return home, a crisis involving a horde of magical beasts attacking a village broke out, and Reizen spent half a month dealing with the situation.
Upon returning to the estate, Reizen asked the butler where his wife was. As usual, the butler, always prepared for his master’s return, immediately responded to Reizen’s first question, “Madam is in the garden.”
If she was in the garden, then her health must have improved. Fina was a petite, somewhat frail-looking lady. She was probably quietly admiring the flowers in the garden.
Thinking this, Reizen made his way to the garden, only to be met with an incomprehensible sight.
“Hah! Hah! Hah!”
His wife was practicing her swings with a burdock root.
“Hah! Hah! Hah!”
Dressed in a noble gown befitting the Countess, his wife, with a serious expression, was swinging the burdock root.
“Hah!”
By the way, she was shouting “Hah!” after completing each swing, so her battle cries were completely out of sync. Moreover, from Reizen’s perspective as someone with combat experience—and indeed, from anyone’s perspective—her sword(?) speed was extremely slow. It was clear that she was not accustomed to practicing swings.
“Hah!”
However, her spirit was impressive. Reizen stood there for several seconds, watching his wife energetically practicing her swings in the garden’s shade. For someone who could make snap judgments in any situation, it was rare for him to be rendered speechless for several seconds. This gave a clear measure of his confusion.
“Hah!”
Reizen snapped back to awareness and walked over to where Fina was swinging her burdock root.
“…What are you doing?”
“Huh?”
Fina stopped her practice swings and looked up at Reizen with a blank expression. It seemed she had just now realized he was standing right next to her. Her concentration was truly impressive.
“Welcome home, Lord Reizen,” she said, bringing both hands together around the burdock root and bowing gracefully like a proper countess. Her calm and unaffected demeanor left Reizen inwardly perplexed, but maintaining his default cold expression, he repeated his question, “I asked, what are you doing?”
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