Gradually, strange rumors began to spread. Things like, “She’s doing compensated dating,” or, “She’s dating six guys at once,” or, “She’s involved with a teacher.”
At the time, everyone believed those rumors, but in hindsight, they were ridiculous lies.
It didn’t stop there. Her textbooks were thrown in the trash, and there was an increase in bullying, like graffiti on her desk.
As a countermeasure, I started arriving at school earlier than anyone else. I would search for her textbooks, set up her desk, erase the graffiti, and make sure everything was in place before Kotori arrived, pretending like nothing had happened.
Seeing the bullies confused by how everything was back to normal was a bit amusing.
As those days went on, the bullying eventually turned toward me. My life returned to the way it had been. But honestly, I didn’t care.
“We’re a perfect match, don’t you think? Maybe we should just go out, haha,” I joked, not expecting a response.
“Kischo.” (Note: “Kischo” is a harsh, cold word often used to express strong disgust, similar to “gross” or “disgusting” in English.)
She said it in an icy voice. The words were harsh, but I felt like I’d had a conversation with Kotori for the first time in a long while.
And that made me inexplicably happy.
Well, despite my efforts after that, she didn’t talk to me again.
December 23rd—the last day of the term—was the day Kotori Shiina jumped from the rooftop and ended her life.
After school, I stood on the rooftop, staring at the sky. The sunset was beautiful. I wondered if she had looked up at this same sky before she left this world. As I was lost in these thoughts, I heard the door open with a click.
When I turned around, Kotori stood there, staring at me with a surprised expression.
“…I thought you finally left,” she muttered, clicking her tongue.
“Did you come up here to watch the sunset too, Kotori?”
“…”
I didn’t want her to be here. So—
“I’ll be here for a while. What about you, Kotori? Want to watch the sunset together?”
I knew she found me annoying. So, I tried to use that to make her leave.
“…I’m going.”
Kotori said that one word, then reached for the doorknob.
“Kotori!! See you tomorrow! And, uh… Happy New Year! Let’s… uh, let’s keep it up next year too!”
“…”
Without saying anything, Kotori left.
“…Phew.”
It worked. I leaned against the railing, relieved. Now, I had changed Kotori’s fate.
Oh, right—
“She spoke to me again today… even if it was just one word…”
Winter break ended, and the first school day of the new year came. Would Kotori show up today? Was she even still alive? Filled with anxiety, I walked to school, my heart racing.
“…Ah.”
I spotted a small figure with chestnut-colored hair, wearing a scarf and coat, walking ahead of me.
Thank goodness! I immediately started running toward her.
“Kotori! Happy New Year!! Let’s keep up the good work this year too!”
I was so happy that I shouted louder than usual.
Oops. Was I being too hyper in the morning?
“…Morning.”
“!!”
Did… did she respond? Kotori?
“…What?”
Kotori looked at me with a suspicious expression.
“Oh, uh… nothing. Never mind.”
Oops. I was so shocked that I couldn’t find the words to respond.
Even after winter break ended, the bullying against both Kotori and me didn’t stop.
But there was one slight change—Kotori had started responding to my conversations with small nods.
Just a little, but it felt like the relationship between us had progressed. Just a little bit.
And then, the graduation ceremony—the last day of middle school.
After the ceremony, everyone was hanging around in the classroom and schoolyard, chatting.
Well, there was no one for me to talk to, so I decided to leave the classroom as quickly as possible. Just as I was about to step out…
"Wait."
I was stopped by Kotori's voice.
Huh? Is she talking to me?
I looked around, but there was no one else there.
"Who else would I be talking to?"
She said with a tone of exasperation after seeing my confusion.
"Oh, right. Sorry about that. So, what do you need from me?"
"...Since this is the last time, I thought I’d say it."
Kotori hesitated for a moment, then said to me:
"...Thank you for everything."
She said it with a smile. Just hearing those words made me feel like everything from the past six months had been worth it.
Don’t cry. Hold it in.
"Goodbye."
With that, Kotori walked away.
I watched her retreating figure. She looked blurred, as though through tears.
This near-death flashback has dragged on for a long time. Maybe I should take one last walk around the school, I thought, and started walking in the opposite direction of where Kotori had gone.
"......"
"Goodbye."
Her words from earlier lingered in my ears. For some reason, they gave me a bad feeling. I thought I had changed the past where she committed suicide.
"Because it's the last time."
"...!"
No way.
I turned around and started running toward the rooftop.
When I opened the door, there was Kotori, standing beyond the railing. My bad feeling had come true.
"...What are you doing?"
Noticing me, Kotori glanced over and sighed.
She looked at me approaching with an annoyed expression.
I reached the railing.
The iron railing between us felt like a wall of emotion.
"It's dangerous up there."
"...I was actually planning to kill myself over winter break. But every time, your face and your voice popped into my head... and I couldn’t do it."
"Over and over, I kept hearing you say ‘see you tomorrow’... I couldn’t get it out of my head."
"Then why now? Why are you trying to jump right now?"
"...Nothing good will come from living on. No matter where I am—at home or anywhere—Kotori is always alone. Nobody cares about Kotori. Not my dad, not my mom, no one. So there’s no reason for me to keep living. I just want to be free. And besides, you and I...”
Kotori saw no hope in her future. As a result, she had no will to live. She was just like how I used to be.
"Even if you try to fall, it’s pointless. You won’t die. I won’t let you."
"...I don’t get it. Why are you being so nice to me? Are you just after my body? People are saying I do compensated dating, you know? It’s all lies, by the way. I’m still a virgin, sorry to disappoint you. Now, just leave me alone."
"...I’ve already gotten my reward."
That’s right. Back when I was struggling, Kotori Shiina was the only one who stayed the same. She helped me. She treated me with a smile.
Even if that smile was fake, it made me happy.
And more than anything—
"...I once thought that it didn’t matter if I died. But the regret from that time keeps holding me back."
The regret of not being able to do anything for Kotori Shiina when she committed suicide is what drives the current me.
"...I don’t get it."
Kotori said that and gave me a push.
"Ugh!"
I fell back, landing on the ground. As I sat there, Kotori turned around and said, "Goodbye," before turning back to face forward.
She’s going to jump!! The thought struck me, and I immediately stood up, reaching out for her.
"Gah!"
I barely managed to grab Kotori’s arm as she started to fall. My right hand was gripping her arm, and my left hand was holding onto the railing.
Damn, I grabbed her, but her arm was slipping through my grip.
"Quick… grab onto my arm!"
"Just let me go already."
Kotori didn’t turn to face me, nor did she show any sign of grabbing my arm. At this rate, Kotori will…
Think, think, think!! I desperately racked my brain. How can I save Kotori? How can I increase her chances of survival, even slightly?
…Ah, I’ve got it. There’s a way to increase her chances. But just because I do this doesn’t guarantee she won’t die.
And it requires my own resolve. But I have no choice.
"I… I’ll protect you, even if it costs me my life."
I said this to Kotori, trying to summon all my courage. Then, I let go of the railing.
"...Huh?"
Kotori’s voice sounded surprised.
Immediately, I grabbed her and held her close, shielding her as we fell. A moment later, an intense shock and searing pain shot through my entire body like lightning, and my vision went dark.
* * *
When I opened my eyes, I saw a white ceiling above me.
There was the smell of antiseptic.
If I listened closely, I could hear the beeping of medical machines.
"...!! —!!"
I turned to the side and saw Kotori, crying and shouting something as she hugged me tightly.
Thank goodness. Kotori is safe. That was my only thought as she clung to me, but soon, a wave of overwhelming drowsiness hit me.
My eyelids felt heavy, and I closed my eyes once more.
* * *
"Hey, what are you daydreaming about?"
"Huh?"
When I came to, a woman in an apron was looking up at me.
She had chestnut-colored short bob hair with a hairpin. Her large, round eyes sparkled.
"...Kotori Shiina?"
But she seemed… more grown-up? Is this what Kotori Shiina would look like as an adult?
"...Huh? Are you okay in the head?"
"Huh? What is going on?"
I looked down at myself and realized I was wearing a suit. Wait, what? Have I returned to the present?
"You’re such a mess. Stay still, I’ll fix your tie."
...Wait, what did she just say?
This woman—Kotori?—was tying my necktie with practiced hands. I noticed a ring on her left ring finger.
I looked around. The apartment seemed expensive, far fancier than the rundown place I lived in before.
Wait… am I living here?
"Okay, perfect. Kotori is the best!" she said, puffing out her chest proudly like a child.
"Uh, thanks?"
I thanked her, and she spread her arms wide.
"...Hm."
...Huh? What is this?
"Well? Hurry up, I’m waiting," she said, blushing and looking away.
"Waiting for what?"
"...For a goodbye hug before you leave, obviously."
Kotori muttered shyly, her face turning even redder.
Wait… that’s something lovey-dovey couples do, right? What is she saying?
"Ugh, forget it! I’ll do it myself," she pouted.
Then, Kotori suddenly hugged me tightly. Huh!? She’s so soft and smells really nice… What is going on? What’s happening?
"...Hey," Kotori looked up at me with a sweet voice.
Her face was flushed, and her eyes had a dreamy look to them.
"...I want a kiss too."
??? What is she saying? What’s going on with this person?
"Uh, wait, that’s—" I was cut off as Kotori pressed her lips against mine.
A soft sensation touched my lips. Wait, what? Kotori’s face was so close to mine. What’s happening?
While I was still confused, Kotori quickly pulled away, handed me the lunchbox that was sitting on the table, and gave me the same radiant smile I had always loved.
“Have a good day, darling.”
[The End]
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