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Desert of Love and Sorrow — Chapter 17: Elsewhere – The Fate of Zhan. Part 4


“Do you enjoy playing hard to get?” she asked after her defeat, as she played a tune on the flute. Na Zhan listened, then asked, “Do you like playing this game of holding back?” But she only gazed into the distance, as if once again, she hadn’t heard his question.

“Answer me!” Na Zhan slammed his palm onto the stone table in frustration.

The soothing sound of the flute came to an abrupt stop. She looked at him in panic, her face pale.

Was he wanting her? Was that what he was after? His heart raced with anticipation.

“I can only answer one of your questions,” she finally whispered, avoiding his gaze.

Na Zhan scoffed, stood up, and wrapped his arms around her from behind, his lips grazing her neck. “Speak.”

“You asked me if there was a person you should seek, and once you find him, whether you should meet him. You also asked me if I was ‘playing hard to get,’” she said softly.

He paused, his hands tightening around her waist. “Answer the first question.”

She exhaled in relief, a smile touching her lips. “Your Majesty, the fact that you asked whether you should seek him means you are already looking for him. The real hesitation comes in deciding whether or not to meet him. But meeting someone isn’t what makes a person hesitate—unless there’s a debt between you. Why not ask yourself if you owe him something? If you don’t, then what is there to fear? If you do…”

“If I do, then what?” he asked.

“In this world, there is nothing a king cannot repay.”

At those words, he suddenly tightened his embrace, gripping her so hard that she winced in pain and let out a soft cry. “Your Majesty…”

He desired her!

“Now, answer the second question,” he murmured against her ear.

“I said I would only answer one,” she replied quietly.

“No matter how you answer the second question, I won’t hold it against you,” he rasped.

Yet she still didn’t turn around, allowing him to hold her tightly as the wind from the Moonlit Ravine stirred around them. Beneath the bright moon, there was only silence. He held her, cradling her in his arms all night.

He wanted to ask, Do you love me?

"My beauty, if you’re shy, I’ll only grow bolder, holding you all night, savoring spring’s bloom;
My beauty, if you leave, I’ll suffer in silence, lying alone under the moon, asking it about my sorrow;
In the emperor’s bed, how many towers and palaces have blossomed and faded, awaiting his favor?
In the depths of the palace, how many flowers have bloomed and fallen unnoticed?"

He thought and thought, but feared that his beauty wouldn’t be shy, wouldn’t leave, wouldn’t stay, wouldn’t yield, wouldn’t love, wouldn’t grieve, wouldn’t hurt, wouldn’t guess…

Na Zhan had faced many things in his life, but only one had ever truly made him tremble with fear: when he ascended the throne. The court was in turmoil, each faction vying for control, forcing him to take swift and decisive action. It was then he discovered that among the nine consorts of the previous emperor, Na Jing, and their seventeen sons, only the youngest son, Na Yanxing, born of the consort Tan Fei, was of true royal blood. The remaining fifteen princes, excluding Na Zhan, were all children adopted or born through surrogacy by the consorts to protect their positions and prevent rivals from usurping power.

This scandal rocked the royal family, with ramifications that could have torn the empire apart. Na Zhan had been terrified, but he didn’t panic. Over the course of seven years, he discreetly relocated the thirteen illegitimate princes, all but one of whom had claimed the title of "Honor King." He then won the loyalty of his other brothers and nephews, slowly stabilizing the palace and purging it of those with ill intentions. He had thought to bury this secret forever, but unexpectedly, when the young prince Na Yanxing turned eleven, he and his mother quietly disappeared overnight, vanishing without a trace.

Na Yanxing was Na Qida’s biological grandson, and the only son of Honor King Na Jing.

Should Na Zhan search for him? And if he found him, what should he do?

Restore power to him? The boy wasn’t ready for it. Grant him a title? He couldn’t even serve as an advisor. Having grown up in fear and isolation, the boy knew nothing of the world outside. Even if Na Zhan gave him the kingdom, he wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Yet, as Huang Bei Shuang had said, “There is nothing a king cannot repay.” If the boy had the strength to bear the responsibility, why shouldn’t Na Zhan return the throne to him?

Huang Bei Shuang was truly a wise woman. With just a few words, she had unraveled the knot that had bound him for so many years…

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