“Why are you saying that? Kira-chan, you’re scaring me...”
“...Sorry. But you’re being unfair to Ando-kun.”
“But I don’t remember, so what can I do? I’m just as troubled as you are. It’s terrifying to have a stranger tell me these things.”
“I’m telling you, he’s not a stranger...”
Listening to that conversation from the side made my stomach churn.
Still, I went to visit Shino in her hospital room every day.
She wasn’t ready to be discharged yet, but with winter break approaching, she wouldn’t be returning to school until after New Year’s. So there was still time for her to remember me—or so I thought.
Tomorrow would be Christmas Eve.
I asked her:
“Is there anything you want? If there’s something you want, I’ll get it for you, no matter what.”
Tenkawa-san, watching from the side, stayed silent.
Day by day, it seemed like the relationship between Shino and Tenkawa-san had grown more awkward.
And it was all because of the “person who didn’t exist in Shino’s memory.”
In other words, I was the one driving a wedge between them.
Shino hesitantly spoke. She wouldn’t look at me.
“Anything I want?”
“Yeah. Of course. Just tell me.”
“Then... please don’t come here anymore.”
“What?”
“—Shino!?”
The loud voice belonged to Tenkawa-san.
Usually, the two of them would start arguing at this point, but today was different.
Shino continued speaking to me, as if she hadn’t heard Tenkawa-san at all.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be honest. To have someone I don’t remember suddenly tell me ‘I’m your boyfriend’... it’s just scary... So, I’m sorry. I know this is my fault. I accept that. But please, break up with me.”
And then Shino started to cry.
It didn’t look like tears of sadness, but more like tears of fear.
I froze, half-smiling.
Because if I didn’t, I might have broken down in sobs.
The room was filled only with Shino’s soft sobs.
The air was suffocating.
I felt like I’d forgotten how to breathe.
And so, my relationship with Shino came to an end.
The bond that had been woven together by a series of miracles vanished, as if it had never existed.
I somehow managed to nod.
“Yeah. I get it. I won’t come anymore after today.”
Then, I fled from the hospital room.
That was the only escape I could manage.
◆
Whether because I’m a man, or just because I’m me, I don’t know—but either way, I was filled with regret, living in the hope of a miracle.
A miracle, in this case, meant the possibility that her memory might return.
According to what I found on the internet and in the library, amnesia—or memory disorders—can sometimes be cured by a sudden trigger.
Sometimes another blow to the head could trigger it.
But even something as mundane as an everyday moment could make the memories return.
If something like that were to happen, our relationship would naturally return to how it was.
Because we were in love, after all.
◆
Time flies.
Months had already passed since the day I was dumped in the hospital room.
When school resumed, Shino returned to her normal life, without me, as if nothing had happened.
Apparently, she didn’t make her memory loss public.
Since she remembered about a month of high school, it seemed she was managing her relationships with her classmates just fine.
But there was no salvaging our relationship.
With no other choice, I kept my distance, leaving everything up to rumors.
Soon enough, people would naturally come to know that we had “broken up.”
Since the day I was dumped in the hospital room, Tenkawa-san had been paying more attention to me than ever before.
For instance, when I was feeling down, she would come over and gently rub my back.
“Everything will be okay. Shino’s memory will come back soon, and then you two will be able to go back to how things were.”
Or, during lunch at school, she would make me a bento, almost as if filling in for Shino.
“I-I’m sorry. It’s not as good as Shino’s. It’s just rice balls... but I’ll try harder tomorrow.”
Even when I didn’t want to go home after school and just wanted to wander aimlessly, she would walk with me with no particular destination in mind.
“Let’s walk until you’re ready. We’ll end up somewhere eventually.”
Before, Tenkawa-san had always stood beside Shino.
Like a loyal companion to the small, delicate Shino, always by her side.
But now, she stood next to me, supporting me.
I thought our time together would be brief, but Tenkawa-san kept walking with me, for what felt like forever.
That, of course, meant that Shino’s memory wasn’t coming back.
It had already been half a year since Shino’s accident.
By that time, Shino had accumulated enough new memories that, even without the few lost months, she could move forward with her life as if nothing had happened.
Life is a strange thing, and so are people.
As painful as it once was, with each passing second, the hurt began to fade.
The suffocating obsession that had once made me feel like throwing up slowly began to crumble.
Of course, it was partly thanks to Tenkawa-san.
She stood where Shino once had, in that now-empty space.
Though the trio had become a duo, she still supported me.
But—by keeping her with me, I was also holding her back.
So I told her.
“Tenkawa-san. It’s okay now. I’m alright—so, you should go back to Shino’s side.”
She seemed surprised at my suggestion.
Then she gently shook her head.
“Ando-kun, you’ve misunderstood something. I’m not forcing myself to be here. I’ve always liked being by your side, and I’d rather stay just like this.”
“...What? What do you mean—”
“This is what I mean.”
Suddenly, I felt warmth on my lips.
Tenkawa-san’s face was right in front of mine, and then she quickly pulled away.
It took me a few seconds to realize—she had kissed me.
I’d never even done that with Shino.
It was such a shock, as if everything was being rewritten all at once.
“Huh, uh...?”
I was completely confused.
The only thing I could understand was that Tenkawa-san’s face was as red as mine.
She looked straight into my eyes.
Her gaze was strong, unwavering.
Her sharp eyes, so fitting for her cool demeanor, held onto me, refusing to let go.
“Forget about Shino—Kaito-kun.”
“Forget... about her?”
Shino didn’t forget me on purpose.
But because of a twist of fate, all of our memories were erased.
We became strangers.
I wouldn’t forget Shino on purpose.
But the twist of fate had disappeared, and with it, our relationship had vanished.
And we became strangers again.
I didn’t know what was right anymore.
But the more I waited—and the more I prayed for Shino’s memory to return—the more I realized I was burdening her.
Deep down, I had always known.
I knew that Shino had feelings for an upperclassman.
The warm gaze she had directed at me was the same one she had for that prince-like student.
Anyone who had faced the truth could see that clearly.
I started to think, “Maybe it’s okay now.”
“Maybe... it’s really time to move on.”
And the truth is, I had been drawn to Tenkawa-san too.
She was completely different from Shino.
If Shino was like a puppy, then Tenkawa-san was a cat.
Always there, not too close, but never too far.
That felt right to me.
I don’t know how much time passed after the kiss.
Memories transcend years, but time moves forward, and so did I.
Slowly, I nodded, as if breaking free from the chains that bound me.
“Thank you for always being by my side... I’d be happy if you stayed with me from now on, too.”
“Mm-hmm...!”
With a strangely childlike voice, Tenkawa-san—no, Kira—kissed me again.
Desperately, I hugged her, as if trying to forget something.
Life truly is a strange thing.
Even when you lose something, something else comes along to take its place.
I had thought that the miraculous encounter with Shino had vanished like mist, but it wasn’t the only miracle in my life.
That’s right.
Looking back calmly, I realized that it wasn’t just Shino—I had been building my own miracle with Kira all along.
“I gradually fell in love with you. Little by little. But I knew you liked Shino, so... I held back and gave up.”
Her words saved me.
From here on out, a new life was about to begin again.
People around me started calling me things like "the scumbag who ditched Shino Nishichino for Kira Tenkawa," or "how does a guy like him get any attention?" and even "the trash who tore childhood friends apart." But honestly, I didn’t mind.
All of it was true, in a way, and yet, all of it was also false.
The only thing that mattered was that Kira was by my side.
By then, I had found some peace.
In fact, I even started to pray, “I hope Shino finds happiness.”
Prayer—it’s a convenient word, isn’t it?
Maybe I had turned it into a magical incantation to ease my anxieties when I shouldn’t have.
Time flies quickly.
Especially when life is fulfilling.
By our third year of high school, we were starting to think about the future.
After school, on the rooftop.
We were used to these secret meetings away from prying eyes.
With her leaning against me, Kira said:
“Let’s make sure we get into the same college, okay? It’ll be somewhere far away, right? Then we can leave this place, and live together in a new town. We’ll get married there... and, um, let’s have kids too. Three of them.”
It was an embarrassingly bold suggestion.
But behind those words lay a deeper meaning: it was about letting go of the past.
Leaving behind the place where I met Shino and Kira—discarding it.
But that was essential for our happiness.
Deep down, I was terrified of something, and I’m sure Kira felt the same.
We were happy.
Years had passed since we first met.
Years had passed since the accident.
Everything had become a part of the past.
Shino had a new boyfriend now.
Everything was going well.
That’s right.
And that’s why we would graduate soon, leave this place behind, and go to college in a far-off town.
We would live there together, graduate, get jobs, get married, and have children—a simple, ordinary life where we’d find our happiness.
The after-school bell rang.
It seemed there had been an accident somewhere, and the sound of an ambulance siren echoed in the distance.
By coincidence, several more ambulances passed near the school, followed by the blaring sounds of police cars and fire trucks.
It didn’t feel good. It reminded me of things I’d rather forget.
Kira seemed to feel the same.
“Hey, let’s head home... Also, can I come over to your place tonight?” she said, urging us to leave.
By then, it had become routine for us to walk home together.
Kira and I always waited until no one was around before intertwining our fingers and holding hands.
We exchanged smiles.
Kira was cool, but also so cute.
When we were alone, she’d turn childlike, always wanting to be spoiled.
And I loved that about her.
If the world could just end while we were together, that would be fine with me.
I didn’t need any more miracles.
All we needed was time—time that would just pass, as ordinary as ever.
That’s when it happened.
From behind us.
A voice.
It was a voice I knew so well.
A voice I hadn’t heard in so long.
It was hers.
“—Uh, Kira-chan... right? Why are you holding hands with Kaito-kun...? My head feels heavy... The sound of the ambulance is pounding in my head... Hey, why are you two holding hands...?”
Miracles happen without intention.
I knew that all too well.
This was just another one of those moments.
A miracle, a coincidence, and yet, an inevitability.
"..."
Which one of us gasped?
Our clasped hands trembled as we slowly turned around...
[The End]
1 Comments
that ending
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