I’ve Always Thought My "Casual Partner" Was Oddly Attentive — Part 4

“And I don’t exactly go out of my way to take such good care of casual partners either. I didn’t do things like wear them out completely or, you know, make a mess of things.”

“I know I’m in the wrong here, but let’s not talk about that in broad daylight.”

“Sorry.”

“I also don’t go on dates with casual partners, and even if I did, I wouldn’t get all excited thinking about a date course that would make them happy.”

“…I’ve thoroughly enjoyed our dates, by the way. Thank you.”

“That’s good to hear. You’re welcome.”

“And I’ve never given presents to a casual partner either. I would’ve gotten you some nice jewelry if you hadn’t said you preferred consumables.”

“I thought I shouldn’t accept anything that lasts… But I loved the sweets and wine you got me—they were delicious.”

“I had fun picking them out too, and I was happy to see you enjoy them so much.”

“…Is that so.”

“Yes, it is.”

“You’re the only girl I’ve ever brought into this apartment.”

“Ah, I see now… I’d noticed there were no traces of past casual partners, and I thought you were just really good at cleaning. Sorry.”

“…And you’re the only one I’ve cooked for or made cocoa for.”

“There really was love in that cocoa…”

“There was. A lot of it.”

“I mean, using a pair of matching mugs with a casual partner? How do you explain that, Riko?”

“Well, Izumi, you seemed so excited when you suggested buying them… I couldn’t bring myself to say no…”

“You can understand things like that, but not this?”

“Yeah, it seems that way.”

“Don’t talk like it’s someone else’s problem.”

“I kind of want to bow in apology again.”

“Don’t.”

* * *

“So, we’ve reviewed everything now, right? Don’t you think it’s just a little—no, more than a little—ridiculous that you thought we were just casual partners all this time?”

“I have no excuse…”

The more I thought back on it, the more obvious it became that we weren’t just casual partners. It’s absurd. The power of assumptions is terrifying. I’d sworn I wouldn’t misunderstand, but when I opened the lid, it turns out I’d been misunderstanding from the start in a completely different way. It’s practically a joke—though it’s not funny.

Izumi let out a small sigh as I hung my head.

“I’m also to blame for not making a proper confession that didn’t sound like sweet talk. Or maybe I should’ve clarified from the start, like, ‘So, now we’re dating, right?’ I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m the idiot for not realizing after everything you did for me.”

If he’s apologizing, then I’m left with nothing to stand on.

“If we’re going there, then I’m the idiot for throwing away my decision not to make a move on you just because you confessed.”

“No, no, I’m the idiot for inviting you over with the intention of becoming your casual partner.”

“Wow… so that’s what that was all about. Yeah, that’s really… stupid.”

“Yeah…”

He lightly chopped my head. It didn’t hurt at all, which made it hurt even more, somehow.

Now that I think about it, my words that day probably sounded like a confession to him. If I had just clearly said that I wanted to be his casual partner, none of this confusion would have happened.

Feeling regretful, I realized something.

“…‘Just because I confessed,’ does that mean you wouldn’t have made a move even if I did confess?”

“Yeah, because you’re someone I really like. Especially someone as pure as you, Riko. I didn’t want you to fall into the clutches of a guy who’s got casual partners.”

“Fall into the clutches? You’re talking about yourself, aren’t you?”

“Exactly because it’s me.”

He sighed again. At first, I thought he was exasperated with me, but it seemed he was more frustrated with himself.

“…Well, if anyone’s to blame, it’s me for having casual partners in the first place. It’s my own fault, and I’m sorry I made it sound like you were to blame, too.”

“Honestly, I’d feel better if you just blamed my overactive imagination for all of this…”

“The biggest reason for your misunderstanding was me, though.”

…Maybe, if we trace everything back.

But having casual partners isn’t inherently wrong. As long as both people agree, there’s no problem.

While it’s true that some people might have been hurt along the way, Izumi isn’t the kind of person who could hurt someone without being affected himself. It’s always been a mutual, bittersweet experience, and I’m sure they all had a good time before that.

Izumi loves making people happy, even if they’re total strangers. And if it’s someone he cares about, even more so… and he’s shown me that side of himself in full.

And yet, I let my assumptions get the better of me and misunderstood everything. That’s what I can’t forgive about myself.

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