I’ve Always Thought My "Casual Partner" Was Oddly Attentive — Part 5

But Izumi will never say it was my fault.

—In that case…

“…Alright. Instead of blaming ourselves, let’s apologize for what we each think was our biggest mistake, and then call it even. I’ll start.”

Before he could respond, I used the right to speak first and continued.

“You always expressed your love for me, both in words and actions, but I didn’t accept it because of my own assumptions. I finally understand now, but I’m sorry I didn’t receive your feelings properly at the time. I’ll never, ever think it’s just lip service again. So, this might sound selfish, but… if you keep being yourself, I’d be really happy. From now on, I’ll be even better at showing you how much I care about you.”

I had always responded to him saying he loved me, but those responses were always “returned” sentiments, things I had received from him first. I’d never initiated them. I’d thought it wasn’t something a casual partner should do.

But from now on…

“I love you, Izumi. From now on, I’ll express it freely, without holding back. So, I look forward to being with you.”

I looked him straight in the eye and declared it. Izumi seemed a little taken aback, but he didn’t look away. Instead, he nodded firmly.

“I got it.”

“I love you.”

“Y-Yeah.”

“I really love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time. I’m so happy to finally be in a proper relationship with you.”

“…I’m really happy too.”

"I love how you enjoy making people happy, Izumi. I love how you're good at finding happiness. I love how you share in my happiness when I'm happy. I love your cute smile! I love how your hands are cold in the winter, and when we hold hands, you look so relieved. I love how often you tell me you love me. And—"

"Wait, wait, timeout. I get it, but could you ease me into it…? My heart can't handle this all at once…"

I see. He’s not used to me coming on so strong.

I couldn’t help but laugh, and Izumi shot me a sulky glare. His face was bright red—it was adorable. Izumi’s embarrassed face was pretty rare. To keep it that way, I should probably avoid overwhelming him too much.

Even I realized I went a little overboard just now. I guess I got carried away by how happy I was.

"How about we start with one 'I love you' a day?"

"…How about five 'I love you's a day?"

"Understood."

"Thank you very much."

Apparently, one was too few. As I giggled, Izumi, still blushing, chuckled softly too.

"Alright, I’m going to try to get this cocoa stain out."

"I’d appreciate that, but hold on—my formal apology isn’t over yet."

"…You noticed, huh?"

"Of course, I did."

"I was hoping you wouldn’t."

"Don't even try that."

Izumi chided me, and I responded with a cheerful “Yes!” in return. Honestly, whether I dealt with the stain now or later, it was probably too late to save it.

I straightened my posture and waited for Izumi to speak. He looked a little nervous as he began.

“…I’m sorry I didn’t realize how you felt. Until you asked me, ‘Am I not good enough?’ I thought you only saw me as a friend. I promised myself I wouldn’t make a move even if you confessed, but honestly, I never imagined you’d confess in the first place.

That’s how natural it felt to be by your side, Riko… It was comfortable. And I got so used to that comfort that I didn’t bother to notice your feelings. I used to think I was pretty good at picking up on people’s emotions, but I’m really sorry.”

That was what Izumi considered his “biggest mistake.” It was such a fitting reflection of who he was.

Just as I was about to respond, he continued, “Also—when you said you’d accepted everything I’ve done for you, all at once, it made me really happy. Thank you.”

His smile was so unbelievably cute that I seriously wondered if our agreement of "five 'I love you's a day" applied to today as well. If it did, I had already used them all.

I didn’t want to break our agreement, but at the same time, it was hard to hold back this feeling. Wait—what if I count that whole earlier confession as just one 'I love you'? I made up the rule anyway, so I should be able to decide how to count it.

Yes, that’ll do.

After making that decision in the span of a few seconds…

“…I love you.”

I tried to declare it boldly, but the words tumbled out weakly, almost pathetically.

Surprised, I blinked, and Izumi burst out laughing. His soft chuckles filled the air, and then he returned my affection with a gentle, love-filled, “I love you, too.”

"By the way, if we’re not casual partners, why are we having sex almost every day? Is that normal?"

* * *

"…Well, um…"

Izumi awkwardly averted his gaze.

“…It’s just… I didn’t know it could feel so good to have sex with someone you love. I guess I got carried away."

He apologized with a face so red that I had never seen him so embarrassed before. It made me blush as well.   

[The End]

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