For someone as weak as me, it was brutal, almost making me cough up blood. But thinking of your smile kept me going.
It was a shock to step out into the real world for the first time.
You’ve been navigating this busy society all this time.
Just a little longer, and I’ll keep trying.
* * *
I finally reached my goal.
Now I can buy your present.
I’m a bit excited, thinking about how you’ll react.
I got you gerbera flowers—your favorite—and a necklace.
The necklace ended up being a bit expensive, which is why it took some time, but I managed to get it in time for your birthday.
“Hey, Nika, do you think you could take tomorrow off?”
I asked Nika, who was working on her computer.
“You can’t just spring this on me and expect me to take a day off,” she replied coldly and went back to her work.
But I couldn’t give up that easily.
“Please, just this once.”
She stood up, looking frustrated.
“When I say it’s impossible, it’s impossible! Stop bothering me!” she shouted, before retreating to her room.
I was left alone in the living room.
But it’s okay. Even if it’s not tomorrow, we can celebrate another day when you have time off.
It’s my fault for not giving you more notice in the first place.
Standing outside her room, I asked, “Nika, when can you take some time off, then?”
“Why don’t you just shut up and stick to doing housework?” she snapped.
...It doesn’t matter anymore if it’s on your day off. I just want to spend some time with you, whenever that may be.
* * *
“Welcome home.”
Once again, I had finished the housework and greeted her with those words.
She passed by me without a word, leaving her bags down.
Lately, she doesn’t even say “thanks” anymore.
“I need to talk to you later. Could you spare me a moment?” I asked.
She sighed, then went to take her bath.
As usual, I carried her bags to her room, sprayed deodorizer on her suit, and laid out her pajamas.
And so, I waited for her in the living room.
I had hidden the present in a spot where she wouldn’t notice it right away.
As I waited, she finally appeared.
“So? What do you want? Can we get this over with quickly?”
Her voice, as cold as ever, pierced through me.
“It’s a little late, but... here...” I said as I showed her the box containing the necklace, with a single gerbera flower accompanying it.
Suddenly, she started trembling all over.
“Are you kidding me?!”
She slapped the gift out of my hand.
“You used my money to buy this! And you expect me to be happy with it as a present?! How could you even think that?!”
“N-no... it’s not like that... I... I...” I tried to explain, but before I could finish, I felt a familiar sensation—my cheek stung, and I was knocked sideways.
She had hit me again. I could taste a bit of blood.
“This is unbelievable! I don’t need this trash!” she yelled as she tossed the box into the trash can.
“..........”
Something snapped inside my head.
I didn’t care anymore. The anniversary didn’t matter.
At this point, I didn’t want to do anything.
“You’re disgusting! How could you even think of doing something like this?!” she said, clenching her fists before storming off to her room.
Once again, I was left alone in the living room.
I didn’t want to do anything anymore.
For the first time in a while, I actually managed to fall asleep that night.
* * *
The next morning, it seemed she had left for work while I was still asleep.
There was a note left on the table.
“I’m leaving on a business trip from today.”
That was all it said.
No details about where she was going.
Just a simple note to tell me she was leaving on a trip.
I didn’t care anymore. It was all too much.
I’ll settle things before she comes back.
* * *
Several days have passed since that day.
I’ve been preparing things, which took a little longer than expected.
But now, there’s nothing left to do.
No regrets.
This is the end of my life.
I’m sorry, Nika. I couldn’t keep my promise to you.
Placing the gerbera flower on my chest, I stabbed the knife into myself.
“Goodbye, Nika.”
* * *
Right now, I’m on a business trip in Tokyo.
Work has been busy lately, and I’ve been taking it out on him, but I’m sure he’s fine.
That’s what I thought as I continued working.
“Kagashi-senpai, you can wrap things up now,” said one of my colleagues.
“Understood,” I replied, gathering my belongings.
I boarded the train and headed to a nearby business hotel.
The workload here is lighter compared to the main office, so I get more time to rest.
I unlocked the door, put my things down, and sat in a chair, opening my laptop to prepare some data for tomorrow.
* * *
“Phew... that should do it...” I stretched and stood up.
As I closed the laptop and reached for my phone in my bag, it rang.
“Hm? Oiyama? Who could that be?” I thought, assuming it might be a call from one of my juniors at work.
I answered the phone.
“Hello, this is Oiyama from Central Police.”
Central Police? That’s near my house...
And I could hear the sound of sirens in the background.
There were also many voices, a lot of commotion.
“Am I speaking with Kagashi Nika?”
“Y-yes, that’s me...”
“Kagashi Hayato was pronounced dead on December 21st at 7:43 PM.”
“What?...”
Hayato? Why?
I couldn’t stop trembling.
My legs were shaking so badly I almost dropped my phone.
I knew exactly why Hayato would have committed suicide.
But there was a part of me that wanted to escape that reality.
“This... this must be some kind of prank call... right?” I said, my voice shaking.
“Nika-san, this is not a prank. This is the truth.”
* * *
After that, I quickly took time off work and rushed back to the house where Hayato should have been.
But there was no sound when I entered.
The voice I loved so much was nowhere to be heard.
When I stepped into the living room, there was nothing—no scent of him, no voice, no presence.
The room was empty, devoid of everything.
Nothing but emptiness filled the space.
Even when faced with this situation, I kept trying to avoid acknowledging the truth that he was gone.
I knew deep down that pretending wouldn’t change anything.
I knew the truth all along.
* * *
Instinctively, I found myself heading toward the police station.
They had told me Hayato’s body had been taken to the morgue.
There, they showed me his body wrapped in cloth.
I removed the covering over his face.
There he was—the face of the man I had loved so deeply.
My first love, my beloved husband.
Hayato’s cause of death was massive blood loss due to a deep stab wound to the chest.
Beside him lay a gerbera flower, soaked in bright red.
My favorite flower.
Seeing that flower triggered a memory.
The last time Hayato tried to give me something, it was a gerbera flower.
I rummaged through the trash and found a small black box.
Inside was a necklace, just my size.
There was also a small letter attached.
To NikaIt’s a little late, but happy birthday.I’m always grateful that I met you.Lately, you’ve been distant, cold, even violent toward me. But still, I love you.I didn’t want to use your money to buy this—it would have felt wrong. So, I got a part-time job.You’re amazing, living in such a harsh world. I wanted to show you my gratitude.Thank you, and I look forward to continuing our life together.—Hayato
“Aaa... no... no...”
I’m the worst. I misunderstood him, hit him, insulted him, treated him like a slave.
I was the one being supported by him all along.
I had selfishly believed I was the one supporting Hayato.
I earned the money, but I was the one who depended on his kindness.
But now, he’s gone.
No matter where I look, he’s not here.
All the strength drained from my body.
Hayato is gone, Hayato is dead. This reality hit me hard, and I...
Now, I’m at Hayato’s family home.
I came to apologize for his suicide.
“Are you kidding me?!”
His sister slammed the table and grabbed me by the collar.
“Do you think saying ‘sorry’ is going to bring my brother back?!”
“I... I’m sorry...”
There was nothing else I could say.
It was all I could do.
“Give him back... please... bring my brother back!”
“Calm down,” Hayato’s father, Tota, tried to stop her.
“But... but she... she’s the one who killed him!”
“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”
Hayato’s sister, Kisa, glared at me with such intensity.
“I trusted you with my brother, and now he’s dead! You murderer!”
“You took advantage of his kindness, used him up, and then drove him to kill himself! You’re disgusting!”
“That’s... that’s not...”
She grabbed my head.
“If I could kill you right now, I would!”
In the end, I was thrown out of the house.
What do I do now?
Tell me, Hayato...
If I follow you, will you love me again... just like before?
[The End]
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