One time, when I went to pick her up from class, Suzume was sitting alone at her desk, staring out the window, waiting for me.
She looked more mature than usual and, to be honest, I thought she looked beautiful.
I decided to confess my feelings again. I started with, "I have something to tell you," and then I told her how I felt.
"...No, I don’t want to."
With the setting sun coloring her face red, she rejected me again.
"I see... I’m sorry."
Ah, it’s a complete no-go, I thought as I turned to leave.
"Let’s go home."
She took my hand and intertwined her fingers with mine.
"...Yeah."
I noticed that the red on her face wasn’t just from the sunset, but all I could do was nod.
◇
"Hey, could it be that she’s just keeping you around, Akitsu?"
Suddenly, Ryo Fujiwara, who had apparently been listening in from the desk next to me, chimed in.
"Keeping me around?"
"Yeah, like, she doesn’t want to date you right now, but she’s keeping you as a backup in case no one else better comes along."
"I see... So, I’m just an emergency ration?"
"Haha! That’s it! That’s probably it!"
Fujiwara laughed and lightly tapped my arm.
"But seriously, Akitsu, if you keep getting rejected by the same girl, why don’t you just give up and date someone else? You’re pretty popular with the girls in our class."
"Huh!? Am I?"
"Well, I’m embarrassed now... Am I really?"
Tanaka and I both raised our voices at the same time.
But Tanaka, calm down, it’s self-study time. You’re being too loud.
Though, to be fair, everyone else is chatting too, so we’re not really attracting much attention.
"I mean, Akitsu, you’re not exactly handsome, but..."
"That’s true," Tanaka quickly chimed in.
"Hey, Tanaka, you agreed too quickly."
"It’s more like... you seem like you’ve got a strong character. You’re not in any clubs, but you somehow always manage to stand out at things like the sports festival."
Though, "standing out" might be a stretch. I wasn’t really an ace, just a regular participant, like being the runner before the anchor in the relay or starting lineup in the class basketball game.
"Damn... He’s right, you’re weirdly good at everything, aren’t you?"
"I worked hard to get here, though. The result of all that effort is that I’m just 'decent' at most things."
After being rejected by Suzume several times, I started wondering what I was lacking.
Back in middle school, I relied on my parents to solve that one incident, but I thought to myself, "I need to become a man who can stand next to Suzume without feeling embarrassed."
So, when I got into high school, I started doing things like taking on part-time event setup jobs for muscle training, and I studied hard through self-study and reference books to improve my grades.
"That’s why, Akitsu, even though you don’t act stuck up, you’re considered high-spec. A lot of girls think you’d be a good boyfriend."
"Tanaka, I’ve done it. I’m a harem protagonist now."
I threw a playful comment to Tanaka out of embarrassment.
"Damn it, Fujiwara! How much did Yukinori pay you?"
As we chatted leisurely, the bell rang.
I gathered up my self-study assignment, which I had already finished (and also picked up Tanaka’s and Fujiwara’s papers), and took them to the box at the front of the class.
"See, that’s exactly what’s good about you, Akitsu," Fujiwara said, waving at me. "Thanks a lot."
"Embrace me, Yukinori."
"No way."
I pushed Tanaka away as he came closer and returned to my seat.
◇
"..."
"What’s up?"
That afternoon, on the way home.
As usual, Suzume and I met near the school gate to walk home together (with her still interlocking our fingers), and she spoke up.
"...Hm? It’s nothing."
Now that Suzume no longer dyes her hair black in high school, her naturally beautiful chestnut hair suits her perfectly.
I've heard rumors that she’s constantly being confessed to by boys at school. Apparently, she turns them all down.
I wonder if that’s really the case. Does she just want to keep me around?
Or maybe she only sees me as a brother.
"Hey, Suzume."
"What?"
"What do you think of me?"
Now that I think about it, I’ve never asked her what she truly thinks of me.
"I like you."
The answer I wanted came back instantly.
It was only two words, yet their impact was overwhelming.
"...Is that in a romantic sense? Or in a family sense?"
"Romantic."
My thoughts came to a screeching halt. Even though I was the one who asked, I couldn’t fully process the meaning of her words.
The only coherent thought floating in the corner of my mind was something idiotic like, "Wow, we feel the same way!"
She continued speaking.
Through the haze in my mind, a part of me that still managed to stay calm noticed her face was probably turning bright red.
"My favorite person in the whole world is you, Yuki-kun."
"Ever since I moved here, you’ve always protected me, and I’ve been so happy."
"You always looked out for traffic when you walked me to school, and I found that really reliable."
"Even though I’m not good at talking, you always seemed to understand what I wanted to say, and I enjoyed that."
"Whenever I saw you wave at me, even when I was with friends, I felt reassured."
"When you confessed to me in the evening at school, my heart raced."
"You always tell me you like me, and it makes me so happy."
The girl who normally doesn’t talk much was now speaking in a flood of words, and that made me happier than anything.
But at the same time, a question kept growing inside me.
"...Then why don’t you want to date me?"
I asked, my voice trembling as I voiced the question that had swelled up inside.
"Because..."
Suzume looked down, her voice barely a whisper.
"I’ve heard that if you date someone in middle or high school, you’ll break up quickly."
"...That’s your reason?"
She nodded.
"I want to be with you forever... But if we start dating, we’ll break up. I don’t want that."
"I really love you, Yuki-kun. That’s why I don’t want to date you."
She looked up at me, her face on the verge of tears.
Seeing that expression, the confusion in my mind suddenly cleared.
"I see... Thank you, Suzume."
I gently let go of her hand and patted her head softly. She accepted my touch with a quiet "Mmm..."
"Next month is your birthday, Suzume. This time, I’ll decide on your present."
I usually asked her what she wanted.
Most of the time, she’d just say, "Anything is fine," so I’d end up deciding for her anyway.
But this time, I felt like I had made a firm decision—almost like a resolve.
"?" Suzume tilted her head slightly but still answered, "Okay."
Seeing her response, I flashed a wide smile and took her hand, intertwining our fingers. I gripped her hand tightly, as if to say I wouldn’t let go anymore.
She squeezed my hand back, and I thought I saw a small smile appear on her face.
◇
A month usually feels long, but when you’ve got something to do, it flies by like an arrow.
Since that day, I had massively increased the number of part-time jobs I took on, saving up as much money as I could.
I wanted to respond to her feelings. That was my own will, for my own sake.
Now, all that was left was laying the groundwork.
Over the past month, I’d discussed things with my parents, and while there were several conditions, I’d received their approval. I was satisfied with the arrangement.
"You’re sure this is what you want?" my dad asked after the discussion was over.
"Yeah, thanks, Dad. I know I’m going to be causing more trouble, but this is something I’ve decided."
"Alright then, that’s good. A man’s got to have conviction," my dad nodded.
"But you know, there’s still a chance this might not work out," he added. "If it doesn’t, we’ll take your hard-earned cash and go eat some barbecue."
"You’re a devil. I barely have any money left!"
We laughed together, heartily. I’m truly blessed to have such good parents.
◇
"Well, I’m heading out," I said.
"Take care," my mom said, her expression a bit conflicted. My dad, on the other hand, smiled and waved me off as I headed to the meeting spot.
"Hey."
Suzume was waiting for me, dressed casually in leggings and a shirtdress. I greeted her.
"Hmm. Let’s go," she replied with her usual expressionless face.
Tonight was the fireworks festival.
Though, we weren’t going to the main event or anywhere nearby.
We were heading to a secret spot on the rooftop of an apartment building where the fireworks would only be visible from a distance. Despite that, it was quiet, and the atmosphere was perfect.
The owner of this apartment was someone whose son had been targeted by the head of the grade back when we were in middle school, during the whole incident. Though I hadn’t noticed at the time, I was later thanked for helping resolve the situation, and as a gesture of gratitude, we were given access to the rooftop whenever we wanted.
Since then, Suzume and I had made it a tradition to watch the fireworks from there every year.
We set up the snacks and drinks we bought from the convenience store, along with the folding camping chairs and a small outdoor table. Finally, I lit the lantern and waited for the fireworks to begin.
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