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Ban Xia: The Worry-Free Crossing — Chapter 1. The Strongest Salesperson in History. Part 3


“I couldn’t move,” Xuan Ye replied in the same gentle tone, giving a faint, wry smile. “After setting up the barrier and entering this place, I suddenly became immobile. It wasn’t the best timing for my condition to act up. In fact, young lady, you might even be my savior.”

Ban Xia let out another “Damn” but decided to swallow her anger and play nice. She squinted her eyes and smiled. “Then could I trouble you, Master, to take your savior down the mountain?”

“I set up a barrier around the mountain to prevent any spirits or people from entering or leaving. Unless I recover, the barrier won’t break, and no one can leave.”

Xuan Ye’s explanation was delivered with startling nonchalance.

Ban Xia gave up cursing, realizing the gravity of the situation, and stepped back. “Then, Master, please quickly recover your divine powers. Once you do, remember to repay my life-saving grace.”

Xuan Ye said nothing more. Still sitting cross-legged, he didn’t seem to be channeling any energy, though beads of sweat began to form on his forehead.

The night was eerily silent and dragged on endlessly.

Ban Xia squatted in a corner of the cave and suddenly spoke. “Actually, I didn’t need to destroy that ghost. The reason his soul lingered was because he stubbornly believed he wasn’t dead. Soon enough, he’ll stop being so stubborn. Very soon…”

Meanwhile, halfway down the mountain…

The ghost was clutching his 33-centimeter overnight pad, spinning in circles and laughing gleefully.

“This is perfect! With this strapped to my waist, my pants will never be damp again!”

He repeated this declaration over a hundred times before suddenly stopping.

Strapped to his waist!

How was it strapped to his waist? Below the waist was supposed to be his legs. How could the pad wrap across his waist?

A sense of hesitation—and fear—crept over him. Tentatively, he peeled off the pad and poked at the area it had covered.

Soft, wet, sticky. He touched his waist. Pressing deeper, he felt his intestines.

Why?

Where were his legs? Below the waist should have been his legs! How could he feel his intestines?

Once this doubt took root, it grew uncontrollably.

Could it be that he really didn’t have legs? Could it be true, as others said, that three years ago, he was caught by the authorities and executed by waist-severing?

How could he still be alive if he’d been executed? How could it be?

Just as Ban Xia had predicted, the ghost finally let go of his stubborn belief. His eyes stopped rolling, his body rapidly decayed, and black smoke began to rise from the top of his head. His soul, now only a fragment, began to detach and drift away…

Back in the cave, Ban Xia grumbled, her head sinking into her knees. “Damn it, if I’d known this was the Song dynasty, I wouldn’t have traded a whole box of pads for just one gold hairpin.”

Xuan Ye, the onmyōji, remained silent. His powers didn’t seem to have recovered yet.

At that moment, Ban Xia heard a sound—a sound that had no business being on a desolate mountain in the middle of the night.

“Tap-tap, one. Tap-tap, two…” It sounded like a child playing with a shuttlecock, counting as they kicked it. The voice continued until it reached ten.

Ban Xia stood up and looked at Xuan Ye. “Did you hear that…?”

“I heard it,” Xuan Ye replied calmly. “She’s finally here. My real purpose for coming up this mountain was to find her. The ghost earlier was just an accident.”

Ban Xia stretched her arms and cursed under her breath. “Another ghost refusing to reincarnate…”

“You can’t handle this one,” Xuan Ye interjected, his tone gentle yet firm.

Ban Xia froze, then asked, “Can you handle her?”

“If I recover, of course.”

“And have you recovered?”

“No, not yet. It’ll take time.”

This exchange felt like a bucket of cold water poured over Ban Xia’s heart.

She blinked, her mascara smudging into a black streak at the corner of her eye.

The two of them sat in silence, staring at each other—“the strongest salesperson in history” facing off against “the most handsome onmyōji in history.” They had no choice but to listen as the sound drew closer.

“Eighteen… Nineteen… Twenty!” The crisp child’s voice stopped at the entrance of the cave.

“Is anyone inside?” Ban Xia saw a pair of braided pigtails poke through.

“Two people! Perfect, we can play jump rope!”

The cheerful voice echoed through the dark cave, light and joyous, as it floated deeper into the cavern.  

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