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Don’t Fool Yourself into Thinking I’d Love You Forever, Idiot — Part 4


“Wait! This isn’t over yet!” she cried.

“Huh? What else do you want?” I asked, exasperated.

“Do you… hate me now, Haruki?” Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke.

Even as I saw her tears, my heart didn’t waver. I couldn’t even comprehend why she was crying.

“Let me ask you something instead,” I said. “Do you even like me?”

“W-What?”

“From everything you’ve said, it sounds like I’m just your caretaker. And as I said before, you could hire someone to do that. So why does it have to be me? I haven’t heard you say you like me in over a year.”

“T-That’s… But you haven’t told me you like me either!”

“…You really need to take responsibility for the things you say,” I muttered, sighing.

“What do you mean?” she asked, flustered.

“You told me that hearing me say ‘I like you’ was annoying and that I should stop saying it. So I stopped, out of respect for you.”

“…That was a joke! Obviously!”

“Oh? Was it also a joke when you said you’d break up with me if I kept saying it?”

“Of course it was a joke! Don’t take everything so seriously! I was just insecure—I felt like I wasn’t being loved enough, and it was crushing me!” she shouted.

“…Really?” I replied flatly.

“What’s with that ‘really’?! I’m pouring my heart out here, and that’s all you have to say?!” she yelled, furious.

If her words were just a manipulative excuse to shift the blame onto me, then she was a cunning liar. But if she truly meant what she said, then she was… well, just foolish.

“Even when I stopped saying ‘I like you,’ I still showed you in other ways. Cooking for you, cleaning your house, running errands—I did all that because I cared about you. You think I’d do any of that for someone I didn’t like?”

“T-That’s…”

“Or did you think I’m the kind of saint who’d do all this for anyone, just because?”

“I-I…”

“Exactly. Even if I didn’t say it out loud, I showed how much I cared for you through my actions. But what about you? Have you done anything for me?”

“Ugh…”

Nanami could only groan in response.

“Using your own words, I’d say I started to feel unsure if you even liked me. So? Got anything else to say?”

“I… um…”

Nanami stumbled over her words. Seeing her flustered expression, I sighed again.

“Well, at least now I know you don’t like me. It’s better to let go than to stay tied to someone who doesn’t love me back. It’s over. I’m done. Oh, and here’s your key—I won’t need it anymore.”

I placed the spare key on the table.

“Goodbye.”

“Wait! Don’t go!”

Just as I was about to leave for good, Nanami desperately grabbed my arm with a pleading expression.

“I... I get it,” she said.

“Hah? What is it this time?” I replied, sighing.

“I love you, Haruki… I’m sorry for not saying it enough before. From now on, I’ll make sure to tell you how much I love you. I’ll always put you first. And… I’ll give you my body anytime you want, so… please, come back to me. I’m begging you.”

“Nanami…”

I stared at her face as she spoke. She looked anguished, almost tormented. But as I looked into that face of hers…

“…Ha.”

“H-Haruki, does that mean—”

“Oh, you’ve really pissed me off now.”

Nanami seemed to think my laughter was a sign of forgiveness. But inside my head, I felt the exact opposite. Her anguished expression didn’t make sense to me—it was meaningless, and I didn’t even want to try understanding it.

“H-Haruki…?”

“If you honestly believe I’d come back to you after all this, then you’re insulting my intelligence. How could I not be angry?”

“No, that’s not it! I didn’t mean to insult you! I swear I wasn’t—”

“Really? You ignored everything I ever did for you, didn’t even care to notice, and now that I’m about to leave, you suddenly panic? Why? You’ve got plenty of other people who’ll take care of you, don’t you?”

I paused to take a breath, though I still had more to say.

“And about your offer to ‘give me your body’—why would you even think that would fix anything? What about my feelings? What if I don’t even want to touch you anymore?”

“W-What…?”

“Ah, forget it. That doesn’t matter anymore. We’re done here. I’m leaving. Thanks for everything up until now.”

“Wait! Please don’t go! This isn’t over yet! Haruki, listen to me!” she pleaded.

I ignored her words, turned my back, and headed for the front door.

“Why?! Haruki, you told me when we started dating! You said you’d never leave me, not ever! Don’t ignore me! Look at me!” she shouted desperately.

Her words kept coming, but I paid no attention. I stepped out of her house, leaving it behind for the last time. There was no sadness, no regret—only a sense of finality.

We had been together for nearly five years, but in the end, breaking up took only a moment. As I walked away, I turned back to glance at her house one last time and muttered under my breath:

“Don’t think someone will love you forever, idiot.”   

[The End]

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