“Endure it,” I repeated again, even as I felt my resolve start to thin. Yet I clung to the phrase, over and over, like an anchor in a raging storm.
By the time I realized it, I had become too tired to care about anything. Too tired of this life. Too tired of it all.
Time seemed to pass so slowly, yet it also felt as if it flew by.
Three days later, when my wounds had somewhat healed, I finally managed to stand up again. I leaned against the ice wall, my body still as fragile as ever. The space around me was empty, and there was no one in sight. My emotions swelled with bitterness, and the sharp pain in my heart became unbearable. For a moment, I thought I couldn’t endure it anymore.
I stumbled, nearly falling as I made my way toward the cave’s exit.
I didn’t care what would happen to me. I didn’t care if I died. I didn’t care if I was drained of my blood or reduced to a mere shell. After all, wasn’t that what the world wanted? If I didn’t want to live, then so be it—I would let them take what they wanted, even if it was the very essence of my being. Let them drink my blood; let them consume me. If that’s what they needed, they could take every last bit.
But why was it so hard? Why couldn’t I just let go?
As I stood in the shadow of my despair, I suddenly felt a presence approaching. Lifting my head, I saw the faint outline of a person through the icy mist. When the figure finally came into focus, I realized—it was the second senior brother.
“You…” I stammered, my voice trembling. “You came looking for me?”
The second senior brother gazed at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. It wasn’t pity I saw in his eyes, nor was it sympathy. Instead, his calm gaze held a quiet complexity, something I couldn’t quite decipher.
He hesitated, the corners of his mouth tightening slightly. His silence was heavy, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“Where is Master?” I asked, but I didn’t really expect an answer. My question seemed to startle him, and he clenched his fists briefly before relaxing. His face grew darker, as if the weight of everything had suddenly fallen on him. At last, he replied, “Don’t ask about Master anymore.”
He reached out, pulling me up without a word. Then, for the first time, I noticed the faint trembling in his hands. He wasn’t as composed as he appeared.
At that moment, the ground beneath me felt like it was crumbling. My entire body was drained of strength, but he didn’t let me fall. He carried me, even though his own body seemed just as worn down.
“Senior brother…” I whispered softly, my voice hoarse. I didn’t even know what I wanted to say. All I could do was watch as he turned to look at me, his gaze heavy with an indescribable mixture of emotions.
Finally, he placed me gently on the ground beside the ice wall, and I felt the coldness of the ice seep into my back. His hand brushed across my forehead, and I heard him sigh softly.
“You shouldn’t have done this to yourself,” he said quietly, his voice full of restraint.
For a long while, he sat there in silence, as though he too was trying to endure something unspeakable.
The boulders rolled and the mountain collapsed into chaos. Amidst the swirling dust, the second senior brother carried me to a safe place and set me down.
I looked at him, but he avoided meeting my eyes. His face didn’t carry the faint, reserved smile I had come to recognize.
“Don’t worry, little sister,” he said. “Master and I will both ensure you are safe.”
As he spoke, he turned away and disappeared, his figure vanishing like a sword cutting through the fog.
The way he walked looked like a farewell, as though he was heading to a place of no return.
What exactly was happening?
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