Xu Xuan walked to the front desk and returned with a bottle of mineral water.
I took a pill bottle from my bag, shook out a few tablets, and swallowed them with the water. Since my diagnosis, my bag had become a repository for all kinds of medication. Sometimes, looking at them made me laugh bitterly. I didn’t want to take them—I knew they wouldn’t cure me. But for Dad’s sake, I dutifully took them anyway.
As I screwed the cap back onto the bottle, I noticed Xu Xuan staring at me, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Are you sick?” he asked.
It wasn’t something I felt ashamed of, and I hadn’t intended to keep it a secret. Smiling faintly, I said, “Yes, I’m sick.”
“What kind of sickness?”
“Stomach cancer. Terminal stage. The doctor says I have about a year left.” I smiled again, trying to appear unfazed.
Xu Xuan froze, his expression one of disbelief. After a long pause, he finally stammered, “You’re saying… you have terminal stomach cancer?”
“Mm.” I nodded. “Don’t overthink it. Life is unpredictable. See? I’ve already come to terms with it.”
Xu Xuan remained silent, his emotions clearly turbulent. After a moment, he asked softly, “Does Chen Qiao Luo know about this?”
Hearing his name, I instantly froze. Over the past few weeks, I had tried my best not to think about him. Because I knew, the moment I thought of him, all the strength I had built up would crumble to pieces.
Seeing me remain silent, Xu Xuan spoke again. “I think I understand now. Out of everyone, he’s the one you least want to know about your illness, isn’t he?”
There was no point in hiding it anymore, so I nodded gently.
I don’t know how long passed before Xu Xuan asked quietly, “Do you still like him?”
How could I not? He was like a ray of light in my life, someone I would chase after forever. But now, in this broken and fragile state, I couldn’t allow myself to get close to him. I couldn’t hurt him, so instead, I chose to bear the pain alone.
After a long pause, Xu Xuan sighed and said, “I’ve been planning a trip to City X. Do you want to come with me?”
When I told Dad about my decision to go to City X with Xu Xuan, he strongly opposed it. But after much persistence, he reluctantly gave in, especially after Xu Xuan came over to personally promise that he would take good care of me.
It wasn’t just Xu Xuan’s suggestion that drew me to City X—I was afraid that if I didn’t go now, I might never see Chen Qiao Luo again before my time ran out. And besides, Gu Yu and I once made a promise about City X. He had said that when I visited, he’d take me to see the ice sculptures and go shopping together. He’s no longer here, but I still wanted to fulfill that promise.
We took an evening flight to City X, arriving at 11 p.m. Xu Xuan, concerned about my health, took me straight to the hotel to rest.
The next morning, we set out to explore. It was the first time in City X for both of us, and we wandered aimlessly like headless flies. Although it was late March, the weather was still bitterly cold. Xu Xuan wrapped his scarf around me and tucked my hands into his pockets for warmth.
Following my plan, we first visited the ice sculptures, then spent the evening strolling through the bustling pedestrian streets. Standing in this city of ice, I thought of Gu Yu and the promise we had made. In the end, I had managed to keep it.
After three days, I finally mustered the courage to see Chen Qiao Luo.
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