“It’s just a joke from my classmates,” he said lightly. “Don’t take it seriously.”
So, Gu Yu didn’t have a girlfriend. Hearing this was like a rainstorm quenching a parched desert, instantly reviving the oasis of hope in my heart.
All my worries and unhappiness vanished in an instant.
But no girlfriend now didn’t mean he wouldn’t have one in the future.
Within a minute, waves of uncertainty surged through me again.
If I didn’t confess, would I be stuck carrying this unspoken love in the shadows forever?
The thought consumed me, growing louder and more insistent until it overwhelmed everything else.
I looked up at Gu Yu, and before I could think twice, the words slipped out: “Gu Yu, I like you.”
As soon as I spoke, the world seemed to fall silent. The wind stopped blowing, the rustling of the camphor trees below ceased, and all I could hear was the faint sound of our breathing.
To my surprise, saying “I like you” wasn’t as difficult as I had imagined.
I don’t know how much time passed before Gu Yu spoke, his voice tinged with apology. “I’m sorry.”
So, this was rejection.
A dull ache settled in my chest, but I managed to keep smiling as I said, “There’s nothing to be sorry about. This was my one-sided feeling from the start. Alright, I have something to do, so I’ll leave now.”
Without waiting for his response, I turned and ran down the stairs.
When I reached an empty corner downstairs, I couldn’t hold back anymore. I let out a quiet, muffled cry. My first love, my first crush, had ended like this.
* * *
I stood at the counter of the arcade, surrounded by the blaring background music of the games.
The attendant handed me a box of freshly exchanged tokens and smiled. “Here are your tokens, miss. Please enjoy.”
Taking the box, I wandered aimlessly into the arcade. Gu Yu’s rejection stung far more than I had anticipated. I ended up at a racing game and indulged in the chaotic thrill of simulated crashes.
After playing alone for about half an hour, I pulled out my phone and called Chen Qiao Luo.
The dial tone rang endlessly before his familiar voice finally came through.
“What does Miss Zhu want to lecture me about this time?” he teased.
Hearing his voice brought a wave of bitterness to my chest. I stayed silent for a few seconds before speaking softly, “Chen Qiao Luo, I’m at the Wayman Arcade downtown. Can you come and keep me company?”
There was noise in the background on his end, suggesting he was busy. After hearing my request, his tone remained indifferent. “Zhu Yun Hao, I’m a bit busy right now. You can play by yourself for now.”
“But I…” His words hit me like a bucket of cold water. My voice faltered, and it took a moment before I could continue. “It’s fine. I’ll wait here for you. Come find me when you’re done.”
“Whatever,” he replied dismissively before hanging up.
* * *
Some feelings and thoughts can only be conveyed face-to-face. Neither a phone call nor a letter can truly capture them.
That afternoon, I played every game in the arcade, from racing simulators to basketball hoops. It seemed like only these games could help me vent the sadness of heartbreak.
The arcade cycled through waves of patrons, and I went to the counter to exchange tokens at least five times. Yet, even as I sat exhausted in the resting area, Chen Qiao Luo still hadn’t shown up.
At that moment, I felt as though the entire world had abandoned me. Nobody needed me, and nobody even noticed me. A quiet sense of loss began to grow in the corners of my heart, eventually spreading into an all-encompassing shadow.
When I checked the time again, the arcade clock showed it was already past nine. I stepped outside into the neon-lit streets, where only a few scattered pedestrians passed by.
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