Xu Xuan accompanied me, and together we used the postmark address from an old postcard Chen Qiao Luo had sent me to find his location. It was an area resembling a university town, with several schools clustered together. I called Li Zi to confirm which school he was at. Her surprised voice echoed through the line as I told her I only wanted to see him.
Yes, I only wanted to see him. That was all.
We walked onto the campus, surrounded by vibrant and energetic students.
I wasn’t sure if I would even run into Chen Qiao Luo, but I was grateful that Xu Xuan was willing to indulge this madness with me.
We wandered through every corner of the campus, as if doing so would somehow bring me closer to him. I saw the places he frequented, walked the paths he probably took daily, but I knew I could no longer step into his heart.
Perhaps it was fate. Just as we were about to leave, disappointed, I saw him.
Standing not far from me, his head slightly lowered, it seemed he was waiting for someone. A month had passed, but he hadn’t changed much.
I stood frozen, staring at him in a daze, until another young man walked over and patted him on the shoulder. The two of them left together, chatting.
Watching his retreating figure, I thought to myself, It’s enough to see him like this.
I had worried about him living in solitude, but seeing that he had friends eased my heart. I silently thanked time—for allowing even the most painful memories to fade and for giving him the chance to live brightly.
On the way back to the hotel, I was in unusually high spirits. Xu Xuan looked at me with amusement and asked, “Does seeing him make you that happy?”
“What do you know?” I couldn’t suppress my smile. “I’ve always worried about his personality. You know how withdrawn he used to be. Seeing him now, surrounded by friends, with everything still so bright and sunny, how could I not be happy?”
Hearing this, Xu Xuan fell silent for a moment. Then, he stopped walking and looked at me. “Zhu Yun Hao, if you still like him, why not give yourself another chance? Your time is already limited. Why not spend these last days loving fully, even recklessly?”
His question left me momentarily stunned. Gradually, my smile faded. Looking down, I said quietly, “I’ve thought about it—about throwing caution to the wind and being with him, about telling him I love him. But you can’t be that selfish. My impulsiveness might give us a year of happiness, but what about after that? When I’m gone, how much pain would I leave behind for him? I love him, and because I love him, I can’t bear to see him hurt like that.”
My words brought silence to Xu Xuan, his eyes filled with sorrow.
Taking a deep breath, I continued, “Don’t think too much about it. Things are fine as they are. Even if he forgets me someday, what does it matter? I wasn’t meant to live long anyway, so why hold on to someone else’s dreams?”
We stayed in City X for a week. On the last day, coincidentally Chen Qiao Luo’s birthday, I ordered a cake for him from a nearby bakery. It was covered with strawberries—his favorite.
When the shop assistant handed me a card and pen, asking if I wanted to write a message, I froze momentarily. Then, taking the pen, I wrote softly on the card:
“May your future be filled with radiant sunshine, and your heart always clear as the skies.”
Chen Qiao Luo, this is perhaps my final blessing for you. I only hope that in the days ahead, without me, you’ll live even brighter and better.
You were the most unparalleled scenery of my youth. Even now, I still remember the carefree boy on the stage. Who would’ve thought that a fleeting glimpse back then would lead to so many cherished memories?
0 Comments