I couldn’t hold back and broke into sobs at the table.
Tiehan’s search turned up nothing. Every day, I scanned the newspapers, terrified whenever I read about bodies being discovered, fearing it might be Le’er.
Two weeks passed with no news of her. Dad and I continued working as usual, but the house felt empty without her. Every night, Dad drank heavily.
"Am I a bad father?" he asked me.
"We don’t understand her," I said.
Le’er’s personality was different from ours—quiet and introverted, not good at communicating with others.
One day, I ran into Gao Hai Ming in the elevator at his company while heading to a meeting.
"You don’t look well," he said.
"There’s been some trouble at home," I replied.
"What’s wrong?"
"My sister has gone missing. She ran away."
"How old is your sister?"
"Thirteen."
"That young?"
"We’ve reported it to the police, but it’s been almost a month, and there’s still no news."
"Do you have a photo of her? I’ll keep an eye out."
I found a photo of Le’er and me in my wallet.
"This is the only one I have," I said.
He took it and said, "I’ll hold on to this."
Every day, I wandered the streets during lunch and after work, hoping I might see her. For the first time, I truly understood what it meant to feel lost in a sea of people.
One day, exhausted, I called Xiao Jue.
"I really need to see you. Is that okay?" I said, my voice trembling.
"Don’t cry. Where are you?" he asked.
We met at a restaurant in Causeway Bay.
"Did you know my sister is missing?" I asked him.
"How could I not know?"
"But you don’t seem worried at all. You don’t even have time to help me look for her," I accused him.
"Where would I even begin? Even Tiehan can’t find her. Do you think I have some special way? I work until 10 p.m. every night. I have my job, and I have exams. You know that," he said.
"Forget it," I said. "You don’t care about me at all."
"What do you want me to do?" he asked.
“What’s the point of being together if, when I need you, you’re not there for me?”
“Can you stop being unreasonable? Tell me—where am I supposed to find your sister?”
Once, I used to see love and gentleness in Xiao Jue’s eyes. But now, I couldn’t find that feeling anymore. All I saw was my own despondent reflection in his pupils. I felt utterly lost. When had he stopped loving me?
“Do you have someone else?” I asked.
This time, he didn’t answer.
My heart shattered.
“How long has it been going on?” I asked, my voice trembling.
“Even if there is someone else, it has nothing to do with the problems between us,” he said.
“Have you forgotten what you said? You told me, ‘Unless the world has no summers—’” I asked him desperately.
He stayed silent.
“Say something!”
“Why do you have to dig into everything?” he retorted.
“‘Unless the world has no summers,’” I repeated bitterly.
That promise—it wasn’t long ago, and I could still remember it clearly.
“That’s how I felt at the time,” he said.
“At the time?” I let out a bitter laugh. “Did you ever really love me?”
He nodded.
I suddenly felt so foolish. I didn’t even care about his words anymore. All I wanted was for him to lie to me, to help me deceive myself. I didn’t dare ask the real question: “Do you still love me now?”
“Let’s focus on finding your sister,” he said.
“Have you found your sister yet?” Yu De Ren called to ask me.
“Not yet,” I said.
“How about I go with you to look for her tomorrow?”
“Okay. See you tomorrow.”
The next day after work, Yu De Ren picked me up in a car.
“Where did you get a car?” I asked.
“I borrowed it from a friend. It’s easier to get around with a car.”
“Thank you.”
“You’ve lost a lot of weight,” he said.
“Have I?”
He drove from Hong Kong to Sai Kung.
“That’s Big Wave Bay over there. Do you remember the night we stayed there? That haunted house was terrifying,” Yu De Ren said.
How could I forget? If we hadn’t grown up, would Xiao Jue still be by my side?
“How are things with Xiao Jue?” he asked.
0 Comments