Shen Xi Fan wanted to stand up and say goodbye, but her aching feet had her rooted to the chair. She resigned herself to staying put, practically turning to stone. A hand extended toward her. “Let me help you back. Can you walk?”
The night was deep and quiet as they stepped out of the taxi near their neighborhood. Aside from the lights at the security guard post and the dim glow of streetlamps, the surroundings were cloaked in darkness.
Seeing Shen Xi Fan hobbling painfully, He Su Ye’s heart softened. “Forget it, I’ll carry you. At this rate, we won’t make it home until sunrise.”
Unwilling to concede, Shen Xi Fan tried to glare at him. But exhaustion drained her spirit, and instead, she looked at him pitifully. He sighed. “Don’t push yourself. Come on, let me carry you.”
With her on his back, the faint scent of wine and the natural fragrance of a young woman intertwined and seeped into him. Her warmth against his back felt like burning embers, igniting a sudden, overwhelming urge within him—to hold her tightly and ask, Do you like me, even just a little?
But her words shattered his thoughts like a bucket of cold water. “He Su Ye, I’m going abroad to study.”
The heat of the summer night seemed to sear his forehead, while a sharp, stinging pain climbed up his throat. His fingers turned icy and rigid. “Congratulations. Which country are you going to?”
She didn’t notice the shift in his demeanor and replied lightly, “The U.S. Cornell University, one of the Ivy League schools.”
So, his suspicions had been right. A bitter feeling of neglect surged within him. “Oh, congratulations. I’ll be leaving soon too.”
“Where to?”
“My school’s medical team is heading to a rural area for volunteer work.”
“For how long?”
“I’m not sure. Based on previous trips, they usually select a few people to stay longer. I might be one of them.”
“Won’t it be tough living in the mountains? With no food or proper clothing?”
He chuckled. “Silly girl, it’s not as bad as you think. It’s just not comparable to the comforts of a big city.”
In truth, he hadn’t yet confirmed his participation in the medical team. At the time, he’d told the organizers he needed to think about it. But now, his mind was made up.
His decision was driven by a mixture of childishness and pride. He was upset by her unilateral choice but knew he had no right to interfere. Yet, he couldn’t help but wish she had told him earlier—sooner than anyone else—so he could feel like he was someone special in her life.
A thought crossed his mind: If I leave, will she miss having me around?
Suddenly, Shen Xi Fan’s phone rang. She answered it slowly, speaking in a soft and cautious tone. After the call, she patted He Su Ye’s shoulder, signaling that she wanted to get down. Once on her feet, she stood by a flowerbed and let out a long sigh. “Tomorrow, I have to face the one person I least want to see. What terrible luck.”
“An ex-boyfriend?” he guessed.
“Spot on!” she said with a sly smile instead of any sign of distress. “Honestly, if he hadn’t reached out, I wouldn’t have contacted him either. Then I’d have quietly dumped him the way he did to me back then. Ha! So satisfying! But… do you think that’s a bit cruel?”
He watched her as she kept talking, her lips curling into a faint smile. Her mood seemed completely unaffected by the phone call, a stark contrast to the tearful, despondent girl who had once asked him for advice.
This transformation, though bittersweet, was his only solace—she had moved on from her past, even as she prepared to leave.
He asked himself if he could forgive his childishness, his selfish desire to know how much he mattered to her. As for her studying abroad… there’s always time for that later.
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