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Loving You Was the Best Thing I Ever Did — Chapter 21: Banxia. Part 3


There were only prescriptions—no notes or messages. She searched through all the pages but found no other hints. Heart pounding, she rushed back to the living room. “When was this book returned?”

Her mother, glancing at one of the prescriptions, replied absentmindedly, “About five days ago, when you were visiting your grandmother. I forgot to tell you—my memory’s not what it used to be. Oh, this one’s perfect for treating vomiting.”

Shen Xi Fan leaned in to read it aloud. “Sudden vomiting accompanied by fever and chills, headache, and body aches—Huo Xiang Zheng Qi San; vomiting of sour, undigested food with belching and loss of appetite—Bao He Wan; vomiting with chest and abdominal fullness—Si Ni San combined with Banxia Houpu Tang.”

Her mother smiled slyly. “Is this young man a doctor? He doesn’t look it. He’s too handsome. Where did you meet someone like that? What’s your relationship?”

Caught off guard, Shen Xi Fan stammered, “No, no relationship. Just… just friends.”

Her heart raced as she finished speaking. She couldn’t stop herself from wondering: Why would he go to such lengths, caring for her so thoughtfully, so silently? Could it be—

A sudden realization struck her like lightning, making her tremble with a mix of fear and excitement.

* * *

Her cousin-in-law decided, “I’ll head to the neighborhood pharmacy before it closes to get these medicines.”

Snapping out of her thoughts, Shen Xi Fan jumped up. “I’ll go! I know the area better, so it’s easier for me.”

After some back and forth, Shen’s father intervened. “Let Fan Fan go. She’s been lounging at home so much lately, she’s put on weight.”

She walked along familiar paths—paths she had often walked with him, side by side, until they parted ways by the lake in their neighborhood, one heading left, the other right. She had never looked back to see He Su Ye’s retreating figure. Perhaps she had been oblivious before, too blinded to notice.

Unconsciously, He Su Ye had become a part of her life. To her, he was the skillful and kind doctor, the friend she could share everything with. She felt lucky to have met someone like him in her lifetime, yet she had never truly considered what their relationship meant—or how she felt about him.

Maybe she had taken his presence for granted, never questioning her own feelings because she was so used to having him by her side.

* * *

At the pharmacy, she saw a jar of Banxia (Pinellia ternata), its small brown tubers nothing like the leaves or stems she had imagined.

Skeptical, she hesitated until the pharmacist, noticing her doubt, explained, “This is processed Banxia. The active part is the tuber.”

She recalled He Su Ye once telling her not to judge traditional Chinese medicines by their appearance. “Even the plainest-looking remedies can have extraordinary effects,” he’d said. Yet she couldn’t help feeling such a beautiful name was wasted on something so unremarkable.

Banxia, she thought, seemed to embody its name perfectly. Like the halfway point of summer, with warm breezes that aren’t stifling, quiet shifts in seasons, and tender moments. In traditional Chinese medicine, Banxia is defined as spicy and warm—a fitting description.

As she watched the pharmacist deftly prepare the medicine, she bit her lip and smiled. How could I describe you, He Su Ye?

Unable to resist, she found herself outside his building. She knew he wasn’t home, yet she stood there alone, staring up at his window for a long time.

His orange lamp would once have cast a warm glow through the night, spreading a gentle light. Every time she came by, she would see it, as if they shared a silent connection, a mutual understanding. It gave her the illusion of being awaited.

He had been waiting for her far too long.

But now, the window was dark, and she felt a tug of longing. It wasn’t that she hadn’t missed people before, or that she’d never been reminded of someone by an object, but this time, the ache of missing him came suddenly, catching her completely off guard.

It felt like winning a grand prize, the excitement making her dizzy, unable to sleep at night, and waking up just to check if the prize was still hers.

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