The game wrapped up after 11 p.m. Shen Xi Fan hadn’t expected to enjoy herself so much with this group. Perhaps it was because doctors tended to be meticulous and considerate—those studying Chinese medicine even more so, as they seemed naturally attuned to others’ feelings. Spending time with them felt comfortable, like being cared for.
The earlier frustrations from the banquet had completely dissipated. Everything now seemed pleasant and bright.
As they walked outside, Shen Xi Fan turned back occasionally to chat with He Su Ye. “He Su Ye, all the formulas you mentioned tonight seemed to include Chenxiang (agarwood). Why is that?”
He Su Ye chuckled. “Because I think you’re like that herb.”
She tilted her head curiously, tugging lightly at his sleeve. “Why?”
“Chenxiang, or agarwood, is both a premium wood and a medicinal herb. Its aroma is rich and soothing. It belongs to the category of qi-regulating herbs and enters the kidney, spleen, and stomach meridians. It’s one of the best herbs for promoting energy flow. Agarwood carries the essence of heaven and earth, its fragrance mysterious and exquisite—delicate, deep, and mellow. I feel it’s similar to you: the longer one knows you, the more they appreciate you. The deeper they dig, the more joy they discover.”
As he spoke, a faint blush crept across his face—likely from the alcohol. His words were uncharacteristically bold. Normally, he wouldn’t speak so directly.
But the truth was, he hadn’t drunk much. He was entirely sober. Ever since he first saw Shen Xi Fan that evening, his heart had skipped a beat. Her radiant smile, the mischievous way she cheated with him during the game, her playful exasperation when she lost—it all filled him with an inexplicable happiness, as if his mood were a balloon swelling with joy.
The streetlights cast a halo around Shen Xi Fan as she skipped along in her white dress and long coat, her black hair bouncing with her movements. She seemed to dislike the cold, constantly hopping around to stay warm.
A strange thought crossed He Su Ye’s mind: being with her always put him in a good mood. Whether she was poised and capable or flustered and awkward, he found her fascinating. The more he got to know her, the more there was to uncover, and each discovery brought a new delight.
Christmas Eve really did have a way of stirring emotions.
After a long pause, Shen Xi Fan finally blurted out, “He Su Ye, I’ve realized that being with you makes me really happy—for no reason at all.”
He smiled knowingly. Of course, he had noticed how her eyes always darted toward him before quickly looking away, how she spoke to him in a mix of excitement and nervousness. Despite only meeting a few times, she had made her feelings evident, and he didn’t mind—in fact, he secretly hoped she’d be even more obvious.
Tonight, she had been.
Sometimes, while running errands, he’d wonder if he might bump into her at the supermarket. He’d think she should eat more fruit instead of snacking on cookies. Other times, while writing papers, he’d glance out the window, curious about which building in the neighborhood she lived in. He had only seen her walking toward District F once. And he’d wonder if she was still struggling with insomnia or if she’d come up with another reason to visit the clinic, grumbling as she sought treatment.
He was surprised at himself, but then he let it go. Why overthink whether he should keep her in his thoughts? He already was, and that was enough.
What he couldn’t quite figure out was what kind of feelings these were.
With Zhang Yi Ling, he had felt a sense of reliance. She had pulled him out of a dark place and given him warmth. Their relationship was one of mutual support, though he knew she didn’t truly love him.
But with Shen Xi Fan, he felt something different—something resembling responsibility.
Was it simply because she was younger than him?
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