"I… I really can’t handle it," she tried to explain. "I know I’ll feel reluctant to leave. I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold back and start crying, and that’ll just ruin everything."
After a long pause, he turned his back to her and said, "Silly girl, I understand. Alright then, I won’t come. But promise me you’ll stay safe, and make sure to call me before you leave."
As he stood with his back to her, Shen Xi Fan quietly hugged him from behind, her voice soft as she whispered, "I’m sorry."
I’m sorry for being so selfish, for not letting you see me one last time. But I’m so fragile, I can’t bear to let you see how helpless and reluctant I am.
* * *
At the airport’s international departures hall, Shen Xi Fan stood in line at security, accompanied by her mother and father.
Her mother’s eyes were red as she repeatedly reminded her of things to take care of. Her father, silent, stood to the side, occasionally asking if she was hungry or wanted water.
Shen Xi Fan felt equally unsteady. She had never been away from home before—not even for university, which was in a nearby city. This was her first time leaving her parents, and the sadness was inevitable. She forced herself to smile, trying to lighten the mood with jokes, but eventually choked up and fell silent, quietly waiting for her turn at security.
Suddenly, she felt someone watching her. She instinctively turned around and scanned the crowd. Among the throng of people near the security checkpoint, her eyes landed on him.
He had promised her he wouldn’t come. But here he was.
Her mind went blank. An overwhelming urge to run to him and embrace him consumed her. Just as she was about to step forward, her phone buzzed in her hand.
The message read:
"I’m sorry. I came anyway. Don’t turn around. Let me watch you leave. Remember, don’t look back. The view ahead is better."
She smiled, her eyes instantly welling with tears. Even so, she tried her best to appear strong, though that strength felt insignificant and fragile, shattered completely the moment he arrived.
This man truly cared for her, so much so that he sacrificed his own feelings to support her dreams.
* * *
In the waiting lounge, as planes took off one after another, Shen Xi Fan realized she was now truly alone. For the next year, there would be no parents by her side, no He Su Ye to accompany her—she would have only herself to rely on.
She needed to grow. She needed to grow on her own.
Standing at the boarding gate, she clutched her phone tightly. The flashing screen showed a new message from Qiu Tian:
"Shen Xi Fan, how could you leave without telling us? That’s so unfair! But fine, I’ll forgive you for the delicious seafood fried rice. Let me tell you this as a secret: when you leave behind the familiar, don’t be sad, and don’t cry. Because whenever a kind-hearted girl feels despair, miracles always happen. Trust me."
Walking down the long corridor, she glanced through the green-tinted glass at the bustling activity outside. Ground staff moved back and forth; vehicles came and went. In the distance, an Air China plane was taxiing to its designated runway.
Everyone has their own journey, their own goals to achieve. Life is short, and sacrifices must be made to race against time.
The plane moved steadily down the runway before a powerful force lifted it off the ground, breaking free from gravity’s pull. Her back pressed firmly against the seat as she looked out the window. The runway disappeared from view as the plane ascended into the sky.
Finally, her taut nerves relaxed. One thought filled her mind: It’s done. I’ve left. I’ve really left.
Scenes she had only dreamed of replayed vividly in her mind, now becoming a reality. Memories of the first time she met him, the first prescription he wrote for her, the peace charm he got for her, his wish for her to be safe—all these moments resurfaced, unstoppable and overwhelming.
Yet she didn’t cry. She didn’t want to cry. But a single tear defied her will, slipping silently down her cheek.
He Su Ye, I miss you. I miss you so much.
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