We Cannot Be Friends — Chapter 16: Life Is Full of "Being Chosen". Part 1

I couldn’t remember the last time I kissed so passionately—or even that such a thing, apart from sleep, could make me shut my eyes and savor every sensation. Chu Ke Huan and I pulled at each other with lips and teeth, our mismatched body temperatures seeming more desperate than us to converge, until everything dissolved into an inseparable embrace.

“This time, you came to me on your own,” Chu Ke Huan said, his tone resembling that of a lion finally catching its prey—proud and merciless as he gazed at me.

Facing this man who would never truly be mine, I finally succumbed. All my past efforts to run, the torment, the absolutes I had declared, the righteous anger I had nursed—all seemed laughable now in the face of this moment. How could I even begin to define my feelings for Chu Ke Huan anymore?

“You’re a great kisser,” I said with a bitter smile. “Too bad you belong to someone else.”

“I feel the same about you,” he replied. He cupped my face, gently smoothing my disheveled hair, then leaned in to deliver another kiss, this one deeper and more consuming.

That kiss was almost predatory, as if he were devouring my very soul. I was left dizzy and disoriented, as though sinking into a bottomless ocean, unable to find footing, and on the brink of losing myself entirely.

Chu Ke Huan, please stop.

If this continues, my life will spiral completely out of control...

A voice echoed in the endless void within me.

But Chu Ke Huan didn’t stop. He tightened his hold around my waist, though he refrained from taking things further. I knew he wasn’t abstaining because he didn’t want to possess me physically—he wanted me to surrender to him completely, to beg him willingly.

Just then, my phone rang.

A sharp pain shot through my chest as I hesitated for a fraction of a second, the kiss interrupted by the ringtone. Despite how much I wanted to lose myself in that kiss, I couldn’t ignore the call.

Chu Ke Huan let me go, gently pushing me back. “Answer it.”

I pulled out my phone and saw Hao Yi’s name flashing on the screen. I wasn’t sure if this was the right time or place to answer.

“If you don’t pick up, he’ll get more suspicious,” Chu Ke Huan said with a sigh. “Where do you live? I’ll drive you home.”

I told him my address, and he started the car. Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Still out?” Hao Yi’s voice sounded strangely distant, almost unfamiliar.

“Yeah. Zi Yuan invited me out for dinner tonight. She had some small props left over from her wedding photoshoot and wanted to give them to me.” I glanced at Chu Ke Huan in the driver’s seat, deliberately keeping my tone neutral. “There were quite a few items, so her boyfriend offered to drive me home. We’re already on the way.”

Every word I spoke was true and perfectly reasonable.

“Oh, that’s good. It’s safer that way,” Hao Yi replied, his tone filled with trust and relief. 

Safe? What a joke.

Hao Yi, you have no idea how terrifying the thing I just did was.

“Sorry…” In a moment of distraction, my guilt escaped my lips unconsciously.

“Huh? I’m not angry,” Hao Yi said, confused. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing for leaving you to handle the wedding preparations alone in Taiwan.”

From the driver’s seat, Chu Ke Huan gently shook his head, signaling me not to confess.

I steadied myself, gripping the phone tightly. “Hao Yi, the road’s a bit bumpy. I’ll call you back once I’m home…”

“Alright, talk later.”

After hanging up, I collapsed into the seat, drained. I turned my gaze outside the window to avoid letting Chu Ke Huan see my face, twisted with guilt. Yet in the reflection of the glass, I caught sight of my own expression—a face I couldn’t escape. Shifting my focus, I locked onto the passing streetlights outside, strung together in the darkness like an endless thread, leading who knows where.

“The first time is always like this. You’ll get used to it,” Chu Ke Huan said.

“How does one get used to something they know is wrong?” I asked blankly.

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