We Cannot Be Friends — Chapter 16: Life Is Full of "Being Chosen". Part 2

“Everyone’s selfish. Always thinking about others can wear you out. Besides, didn’t he take that assignment abroad during what should have been wedding planning? Leaving you alone in Taipei? Wasn’t that for himself, too?”

I couldn’t argue. What Chu Ke Huan said was true.

“Now, about the question I asked earlier—you owe me an answer,” he said, his smile warm. “Do you still want to get married?”

I remained silent.

“Let me ask it another way: why did you decide to get married?”

“…The ring appeared, he knelt before me, and we’d been in a stable relationship. We even looked at houses together. What other choice did I have?” I exhaled heavily. The surprise of his proposal was genuine, as was the impulse to spend a lifetime together. But so too were the doubts that followed—the self-questioning that felt like a greedy dissatisfaction, insufficient to change the reality of my acceptance.

Is this life still under my control?

“Don’t you think life is full of choices? Choices we’re often forced to make?”

“You mean… marriage?”

“Everything. Work, love, buying a house, marriage, having kids…” Chu Ke Huan drove off the elevated highway, the familiar surroundings of my neighborhood coming into view. “When the time comes, choices appear, and every decision is made for survival. That’s life.”

“Men are the ones who propose. Don’t act like you don’t have the power to choose,” I said, turning to him with a meaningful look.

“Do you remember the day I drunkenly told you I wanted to sleep with you?” he asked.

“Of course,” I replied immediately.

“That day, Zi Yuan told me she didn’t plan to return to work after taking unpaid leave. She said, ‘Didn’t you once tell me to quit if I felt too tired? That even if I stopped working, you’d still make me happy, right?’ I had indeed said that. But now, the responsibility of giving her happiness feels overwhelming. Life is long, and there’s so much I still want to do. I even envy Hao Yi. He left you without hesitation to go to China. But me? I can’t walk away from her,” Chu Ke Huan said with a bitter smile. “And yet, here we are—she’s already chosen the bridal shop, picked out a ring, and hired a makeup artist. It’s like a snowball rolling out of control. Among all this, I can’t even say what I actually chose. This isn’t how I imagined marriage or proposing would be… Do you get it?”

I listened quietly, reflecting on Hao Yi’s absurd proposal in the apartment. And suddenly, I understood what he meant.

“I do.” Maybe I, too, am living a life shaped by choices made for me. Whether this choice will turn out to be a mistake or if the person beside me will truly bring happiness—no one can decide for us. We can only keep making choices, pushed forward by circumstance.

“At least today, we made a choice,” Chu Ke Huan said as he parked in front of my building, pulling the handbrake. “You chose to kiss me, and I chose to kiss you back. Don’t you think that’s a beautiful beginning?”

But beginnings like this will destroy the people on the other side of us, Chu Ke Huan.

“I’m not sure,” I murmured, my voice trembling. “I’m not sure I can take this all the way with you… At least, not while I’m still unwilling to betray Hao Yi.”

“The moment you kissed me, you already betrayed him, didn’t you?”

“…” I couldn’t refute him.

“I won’t force you,” he said gently. “Honestly, what I look forward to most in our relationship is the connection we share on a psychological level. After all, you’re the only woman who understands what it means to live a life of forced choices.” His hand lingered on my face, tracing my cheek, my neck, and the back of my head. I felt the roughness of his palm and the warmth of his touch.

Despite his words, I still couldn’t be certain. Was this relationship born of shared loneliness, an emotional outlet, or was it genuine affection between us?

But as the metaphorical church bells began to toll, I realized I no longer had the luxury of time to search for answers. Facing this man who seemed to understand me and spoke the same unspoken language, I felt powerless to resist.

After a long pause, Chu Ke Huan released me and smiled warmly. “You should head upstairs. Rest well. I’ll come find you again.” 

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