Before bowing my head to confess to the victim, I had something more important to do.
Time spins like Russian roulette. One sleep later, Monday was here again. For me, Mondays meant more than just returning to work after a leave—they also meant facing Ke Fei.
As I stepped into the elevator, I was calculating how often Ke Fei and I might encounter each other due to overlapping projects, while also pondering the best time to talk to her. Before I could finish my thoughts, Ke Fei appeared in front of me. When she realized I was also there, she found herself trapped in the crowded elevator with no room to move. Avoiding my gaze awkwardly, she exited one floor early.
I knew she was avoiding me, but I had no intention of giving up. As soon as I exited the elevator, I hurried to the stairwell, where, sure enough, I intercepted Ke Fei at the fire escape door.
“Ke Fei,” I called out.
“What do you want?” she replied coldly, refusing to meet my gaze.
“I don’t like the current atmosphere between us. I want to clear the air.”
“Why bother? To someone like you, a proper soon-to-be bride, I’m just a showy, self-centered, and reckless woman. We come from different worlds. At work, we’re colleagues; outside of work, we don’t need to force a friendship.”
“I went too far that day. I know I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
“Too far?” Ke Fei raised her eyebrows. “If you didn’t have those thoughts in your heart, you wouldn’t have said them, no matter how far you went. In your eyes, I’m just a promiscuous, shameless woman who corrupts her friends—”
“That’s because I envy you!” I interrupted hastily.
Ke Fei froze, looking at me in surprise.
“I envy your freedom. I envy the possibilities in your life, while mine is already taking shape.” I stared at the unyielding cement walls and the cold metal fire escape door around us. It felt like if I kept circling these thoughts, I could see the end of my life. “You were right—if life has only one standard answer, why not have some fun before handing in the paper? I was just too late in admitting that I had these thoughts.”
Ke Fei caught the underlying meaning in my words and frowned. “You’re not saying...”
“It’s Chu Ke Huan,” I admitted with guilt. “I’m sorry for hiding it from you until now.”
“Chu Ke Huan...? Wait, you mean the guy from 2882?” Ke Fei’s jaw practically dropped. “Did you two...?”
“Not yet,” I shook my head. “What we want is something beyond that.”
“Beyond that? What does that even mean?” Ke Fei understood immediately but wanted confirmation. Her voice trembled as she asked, “What’s your relationship now?”
“I don’t know.” I was at a loss. “He said he needs to think about what to do...”
“What’s there to think about? Pick a date and time, just do it, and then unfriend, block, and never contact him again. End of story!” Realizing the dangerous implications, Ke Fei grabbed my shoulders. “Weiwei, you still want to marry Li Hao Yi, right?”
Good question. Do I want to marry Hao Yi? Do I truly “want” that from the bottom of my heart? After these weeks of unexpected events, I no longer knew the answer...
Seeing the alarm on Ke Fei’s face, all I could offer was a blank silence.
“Shit, you’re serious about that 2882 guy, aren’t you? What about Li Hao Yi? Sure, he’s in Shanghai and can’t be with you now, but that doesn’t mean everything happening around you is real!”
0 Comments